


The Diamond of the Day Collection

by jillc



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Gen, Heavy Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-21
Packaged: 2018-05-22 07:07:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 27
Words: 36,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6069868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jillc/pseuds/jillc
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of scenes from the last two episodes of Merlin. I have picked out the scenes which I felt the most important, to explore individual characters thought processes. I have always enjoyed getting into the mind of each character, it is one of my biggest enjoyments in writing, and this is what I do here. The dialogue will be the same as the show's. But I hope you get a bit more out of this, as I explore what individual character's go through and how their emotions evolve through to the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Price for Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a collection of scenes from the last two episodes of Merlin. I have picked out the scenes which I felt the most important, to explore individual characters thought processes. I have always enjoyed getting into the mind of each character, it is one of my biggest enjoyments in writing, and this is what I do here. The dialogue will be the same as the show's. But I hope you get a bit more out of this, as I explore what individual character's go through and how their emotions evolve through to the end.

The Price for Acceptance

There was a tension in the air that ripped through Mordred's being. Morgana had been in a strange mood during the day, as though she was planning something. He had already found out to his cost, that she would keep things to herself. Sometimes it annoyed him, surely she trusted him by now? As the tension increased, and the dark began to creep its way into each corner of the room, he had the feeling it was all about to become clear.

As he stood by Morgana's chair, feeling every inch her protector; he became aware of a figure who was pushed in through the door. The man had no hair, he was dressed mostly in black. He looked in awe of facing Morgana and fear etched in his eyes, but beyond that and instinctively Mordred knew he was a fellow sorcerer. Some thing about the way he held himself, a man who was use to walking in the shadows, just as Mordred did. All of a sudden Mordred felt for him, as he looked at Morgana through the corner of his eye, he knew this man had been called here for a reason, and knowing Morgana it would not be a happy one. 

Morgana took to the stage the way she always did, whenever she had a point to make. Something made Mordred want to look away, and yet he was unable to do so. So he watched the grisly spectelce unfurl, he watched a fellow sorcerer having his magic, stolen from him. 

As he watched his mistress throughout the gastly charade, he struggled to wonder where the beautiful compassionate woman had gone to. As he watched the innocent man having his magic stripped from him, and then be humiliated on top of it, for a second he closed his eyes and wondered if this was really worth it? Was this what he'd left Camelot for? Was this really necessary for him to gain acceptance, to have to be a part of something so cruel and heartless? Question after question filled his mind, as he stood there watching the man. 

There had been a few times, as he'd watched Morgana, he'd had to bite his lip, to stop himself questioning her reason for doing something. But this was so pointless to him, he knew he had to say what he was thinking, he could not let this incident go without speaking his mind. Sometimes a point had to be made, even to Morgana. The compassion he still had in his heart and mind, insisted on it. He could not allow himself to become the same bitter creature that Morgana was. He loved her dearly, but he still struggled with the lack of humanity that she seemed to have.

"He was a loyal soldier, and robbing him of his magic you've lost yourself a powerful ally." he said, facing Morgana determined to make a point.

There was no regret from Morgana though, in fact if anything she looked satisified.

"Perhaps." she acknowledged. "But now we know the war can be won. As Arthur is nothing without Emrys, and Emrys is nothing with his magic."

Suddenly it all made sense to Mordred, as he stood there and took in her words. Though even now he shuddered at what the poor man had been put through, in that moment he realised they had indeed uncovered their best chance of bringing Camelot down. 

This was indeed the way to make Emrys pay, not for the first time, he wondered if he had the courage to go all the way. Suddenly he realised his destiny was approaching and he would have to decide, once and for all if he could embrace it.


	2. A Game of Chance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is actually a chapter seen through Percival's eyes as he watched Merlin and Arthur playing dice, one night in The Tavern.

A feeling of tension had started to envelope Camelot, in light of recent events. First of all Gaius's explanation of Morgana's proclamation of war, followed by Mordred's change of loyalties. It seemed to Pecival as if every thing was suddenly going wrong, and there seemed little anyone could do to stop it. He knew that Camelot was headed for war, perhaps it's most serious threat yet.

Gloom seemed to follow everywhere, hanging off every wall, every conversation. He was sick of never seeming able to get away from the subject. He had no idea what the future was for either him or the Kingdom, he had come to love and call home. This one night though, he felt the desperate need to get away from all the unending talk.

He had suggested a night at The Tavern. To his surprise Arthur himself had agreed to attend, along with Merlin. So it was that Percival found himself amusingly following a game of dice between King and servant. The game had attracted quite a following, a crowd of people surrounded the players, Percival stood between them, his eyes following their every move.

He studied the game of poker that Arthur and Merlin were playing with each other. Arthur as ever was confident, sure that he had the measure of his servant. Each time he came to throw the dice, he would throw it extragavently into the air with a touch of arrogance. This was a man after all use to winning, and not expecting to be beaten. Every success would be greeted with a superior smile and glance at his challenger.

Merlin on the other hand, especially intrigued Percival this particular night. He was some one who usually kept his emotion in check, hidden from view. Yet with every success his smile and feelings became broader, his face filled out with delight, the more he won. It was as though tonight he was truly allowing himself to open up. Percival couldn't help but smile at the sight of it.

Percival couldn't quite work him out in truth, none of the Knights could. This was a man who would go off on quests with no weapon at his side, accompanying his King without hestitation. The young man had a side to him, that Percival struggled to understand. He often thought Merlin would hide far more than he revealed which was why tonight was such a treat to the big Knight. Merlin was by now rosy cheeked, a result of people buying him glass after glass of mead, as he continued to enjoy his winning streak.

As Percival watched his King closely he could sense the man's inner tension. This was not a man who liked being beat at anything, never mind at a game of dice. An argument about Merlin coughing had upset the applecart even further. Percival recognised the desperation of the King as he struggled to stay in the game. Arthur was by now using any excuse in the book to keep going with Merlin. The big Knight smiled as Arthur became more exasparated as the game began to get away from the King.

Suddenly Merlin was throwing a torrent of coins into the bowl, his confidence growing as he did so. 

"So it's like that is it?" Arthur said with a sarcastic air.

Merlin nochantly nodded his head, throwing one last coin in the bowl with an easy shrugg.

"Twelve." Merlin said quickly.

Percival watched the pair of them laughing to himself, he had got to know them well over the years, in their numerous quests and battles. For all their antics tonight, he knew come the battle which would soon descend on them, these two would be together as ever, faithfully serving their Kingdom and one another. Each would of gladly died for the other, one hundred times over. They had a bond that Percival both admired and envied.

A cry went up around the table as the number Merlin had murmured came up. The servant had indeed beaten his King and friend. Merlin whooped into the night, cheers abounding around the table.

Percival couldn't help but take a little look Arthur's way, knowing well how he hated to lose. As expected Arthur did not seem to be taking the defeat well. Only as Merlin bought everyone a round of mead, did Arthur at last begin to unwind his frustration. 

Percival himself drank it all in. Suddenly nothing mattered except the fact that for one night everyone had bonded together. In the unsettled times they were living in, it was nice just for once, to not have to worry about what tomorrow may bring. As he continued to watch his King and friend unwind in each other's company, he knew that no matter what, he would always be there to serve them. He maybe known as the quiet one, but he would always do his duty.


	3. Fear of Failure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This instalment deals with Merlin having to face up to the prospect of having lost his magic after being attacked.

From the moment that Merlin had fought the creature off, he had a terrible sense that something was missing deep inside of him. Even as Gaius had killed the slug like creature, Merlin had lay there shocked to his core. What was it? he wondered, where had it come from?

Gaius as ever had an explanation, as he gently soothed Merlin's forehead with a cloth.

"Morgana's work has to be, Mordred would of told her about your magic by now. It was only a matter of time before she struck out. Just be grateful she's failed." his mentor said softly, leaving Merlin alone to ponder Gaius's words.

He didn't doubt that this would indeed be the work of Morgana. But an horrible feeling was eating away inside of him. He didn't feel himself, there was something inside him that wasn't adding up. He pointed to the cup his throat parched, suddenly anixous to dispel the feeling of gloom inside him.

"Strangath." he said softly waiting for his magic to occur. Nothing happened, he pointed at it again.

"Strangath." he said his voice louder, more desperate. But again nothing happened, suddenly Merlin could feel his inner fears becoming ever more real, suddenly he realised what it was he felt was missing from inside of him. Surely it couldn't be he thought to himself in horror. He attempted to calm himself, and try one last time.

"Strangarth." 

As nothing happened he realised he could no longer deny it to himself. "Gaius." he called his voice broken with emotion.

Gaius scuttled back to his bedside.

"I don't think she failed." he said, "I've lost my magic."

Merlin would not forget the horror on his mentor's face as he took in what Merlin had just said. The two of them starred at one another, as if both suspended in space. Gaius walked off taking a magic book off the shelve.

Merlin walked around in shock, he no longer knew what he was actually doing. He seemed suddenly to be in a trance, nothing making sense anymore. He heard Gaius turning the pages of the book, but for once Merlin felt totally uninterested. It was as if his loss had left him unable to even function. He thought back to his childhood briefly when he was getting use to having magic. Back then it had made him sometimes feel like a monster. But now, here without it he suddenly felt totally empty, like he suddenly ceased to exist. 

He felt a panic rise in him. If he had no magic, how could he protect Arthur? How could he achieve his destiny, his whole purpose for living? What good would he be for Camelot, the place he had adopted as his home? He paced around suddenly frantic for an answer, any answer.

"It's the sign of the Eancanah." Gaius explained looking up from the book meeting Merlin's eyes.

"Eancanah is the language of the old religion insn't it?" Merlin asked suddenly relieved to get his mind onto something.

"The Eancanah is a fearsome creature." Gaius began to read, "by the tears of the earth mother Nenamed. It devours the magic of others, draining them of their powers."

As Merlin stood their attempting to take in what Gaius had just read, he had a sudden feeling, that he was about to face the biggest challenge of his life. But there was something else, that he suddenly understood in that terrible moment.

Deep down he had always had a fear of what it would be like to be without his magic, not for one minute did he expect to experience such a thing. But now his biggest fear had become a reality, and suddenly he felt as frightened as he'd ever felt.


	4. Heart Over Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This deals with Gwaine. Having attempted to fight off Morgana's hordes, the Knight arrives back in Camelot with Eira who has saved his life.

Gwaine was a man who liked to take any chance in life he could. Whether it be a free pint of mead in The Tavern, or a sly kiss from a pretty woman, he would take anything on offer to him. He had no particular desire to settle down, he felt he had plenty of time for such things after all, he was still young. But there was something about the pretty blonde woman who had saved his life, that moved him.

From the moment he, Leon and the other Camelot Knights arrived in the garrison at Stowell, disaster reigned. The town was under a severe attack when they arrived. The scream of explosions surrounded them, as they made their way into the fray. It seemed as if the odds were against them from the start. The bandits poured into the garrison and the Knights were pretty soon fighting for their lives. It soon became apparant they were not only figting ordinary weapons, but also magic. It scared the life out of Gwaine, as he looked around him.

Suddenly he heard a scream, turning he noticed a slender blonde woman, being attacked by a bandit. Suddely Gwaine's heckles rose at the sight of it. He maybe very much a ladies man, but he liked to think he knew how women should be treated. Seeing her being attacked created such an anger inside him, that he went running towards the bandit his sword ready to attack.

"I'm your enemy not her." he said to the bandit.

The bandit was only too happy to oblige and began fighting the Knight. As Gwaine started hitting him with his sword, he soon realised the man had an almost incredible power in his sword. Suddenly he realised he could be in trouble, he suspected magic was afoot. Just as he was about to say his prayers the bandit collasped. Looking back he saw the woman with a plank, looking as startled as he did. 

She had undoubterly saved his life, from that moment on he vowed to do everything he could to help her. It soon became apparant that the odds were too much for the Knights and Leon had shouted their retreat back to Camelot. It was obvious that Stowell was about to fall into Morgana's hands. 

Gwaine had suggested that Eira came back to Camelot with them. She had agreed and so she rode on the back of Gwaine's horse back to the citadel. She had been too quiet for Gwaine's liking. Barely uttering a word, to him it seemed as if she was in shock, which was hardly a surprise. Gwaine had lived through many a battle, he suspected this was very new to Eira. Noticing a scratch on her leg he led her over to a chair.

Gwaine asked Merlin to put a bandage on her knee. The knight held her hand as the warlock tied it. Suddenly Eira spoke, almost taking Gwaine by surprise.

"Do you have news from Stowell, from my family?" she asked, tears forming in her eyes.

Suddenly Gwaine knew he'd have to tell her the worst, he glanced in panic at Merlin. He gulped before saying softly.

"Eira, your family, the people of your town, you're the only survivor of the attack."

For a second Eira looked in his eye as if not wanting to believe the news. "You mean I'm alone?"

Gwaine reached hold of her hand, "I'm sorry Eira, whatever happens you'll be safe here in Camelot. You have my word."

"Thank you." she said. 

For a second their eyes met, and Gwaine felt his heart swell. He swore he would look after her, he owed her a debt and he would repay it by keeping her safe. 

As the days went on though, he became entranced by Eira. As she began to open up to him, he began to think that just maybe he had met, someone he could really care for. Gwaine knew only time would tell, and with Camelot heading for war it seemed a strange time to suddenly fall in love. But he was not about to throw it away, he was determined to keep Eira close by him.


	5. Decision of Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the reasons I didn't enjoy the last episode, was I felt it was too rushed. Further more there were some scenes which should have been left in, to explain character's motivations better. 
> 
> This Morgana-Mordred scene was one of those.

Morgana and Mordred had reached a sheltered spot in the forest, the trees sheltering them from the falling rain. Each of them were in different frames of minds, this important day. Morgana spoke in excited tones, thrilled that her plan for the destruction of Camelot was coming into fruition.

For Mordred though, his mind was as unclear as ever. All he knew was the day of destiny was drawing up ever closer, and he still couldn't make his mind up if he was doing the right thing. Where Morgana was sure in her conviction, he questioned everything. 

His mind refused to let him sleep at night, as doubt after doubt corrupted him. He thought of Arthur, and he refused to accept his mind was completley evil. He had seen the good side to him, he knew there was hope. But Morgana had nothing but vengenance in her heart. Could he really side with such negative emotion he wondered? Then he thought of his beloved Kara, hung with no mercy, he sighed realising that Morgana was expecting an answer from him.

"Pretty soon Arthur will be helpless before us." Morgana said a smirk on her face.

"I do not doubt it." Mordred replied with no enthusiasm.

Morgana turned to him her whole manner suddenly changed.

"Do not forget what we are fighting for. We are fighting for freedom and from fear of prejudice." she said her words coming out in a torrent.

Mordred suddely felt pressured, but he stood his own ground. "I have not forgotten." he assured her. "But I wonder if fighting is the only answer."

Morgana suddenly looked at the young man with disbelief in her eyes.

"You cannot reason with a man like Arthur." she said fury in her in tone. "You found that out to your cost." she reminded him.

Suddenly Mordred felt determined, to say what was in his mind. For days he'd lived with doubts in his mind, maybe this was the chance to reason with her one last time.

"He may have changed." Mordred said, "I believe there is goodness in him." As he stood there he felt elation in actually managing to say what had been in his mind for ages. He knew Morgana would have an answer though, and he wasn't disappointed.

"You're not forgetting something Mordred." she said, "You buried Kara not ten days past. What compassion did Arthur show her?"

The bluntness of Morgana's reminder, sent Mordred into total despair. He briefly thought of his lost love, her face, the way she was always there for him. It had been such an unkind thing to say, for a moment he wanted to rip Morgana's head off. Instead he took a deep breathe, and willed the picture of Kara into the back of his mind. Doing this would not bring her back, he knew that. And yet what other answer was there he wondered? 

"I ask you again Mordred." Morgana interrupted his thoughts, "Are you with me or not?"

For a second Mordred closed his eyes, his choices were few by saying no he would betray the only person he had left in his life, and he couldn't do that to her.

"I'm with you Morgana." he replied, knowing he'd made the decision from which there would be no going back from.

"Good." Morgana replied. "Because I've got something for you."

Mordred followed Morgana curiously, wondering what she meant. They walked through the forest for a while, until they came to an opening of a cave. Suddenly Mordred's eyes almost popped out of his skull. There resting inside was the little dragon that had not so long ago attacked him, Arthur and Merlin in another life.

"Aithusa." Morgana said smiling towards Mordred. "Meet Mordred."

Aithusa gave a grunt leaning towards Morgana.

"Now the big moment I've spoken about Aithusa, this is the time where you are going to turn the tide, in the fight against Camelot."

She clamboured over and picked up a sword, she started a spell, chanting into the air, suddenly she pushed the sword over to the little dragon.

"Come Aithusa, now's the time to play your part."

Mordred watched in amazement as the dragon began to blow on the sword. Suddenly flames arrived from the dragon's mouth onto the sword, Morgana could barely keep hold of the sword in those couple of minutes. Eventually the little dragon pulled away seemingly exhausted. Morgana fingered the sword, which had a incredible shiny look to it.

Morgana smiled as she held the sword out to Mordred.

"You're blade Mordred. Forged in a dragon's breath, nothing can survive its touch. A weapon worthy of my proudest warrior."

Mordred slowly took the blade from her, softly touch the end of it admiring its shine, and its feel.

"Then I shall yield this in victory, and with honour." 

Suddenly Mordred knew what he must do. Destiny had chosen this moment for him, he was little more than a pawn, he suspected he had always known that. But he would go down doing what he thought was right, and afterwards hopefully the dawn of a new age would open up for those like him. An age where he could be what he truly was, with no reason to hide or fear what other people thought. He still regretted that they needed to fight for it, but in the end he knew there was no other way. Soon his destiny would beckon, and maybe then he would find the peace that he craved.


	6. The Acknowledgement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is probably one of the most moving scenes in episode 12, where Merlin has to explain to Arthur, why he will not be going to Camlann with his friend.

Merlin had risen early to make sure that Arthur had everything required, laid out on the table. For now he had put his own problem out of his mind, his magic could wait. First he needed to serve his King and friend in his most pressing hour. Each piece of armour that he laid down carefully on the table, he felt almost a stab in the heart. He pushed his guilt away into the back of his mind, along with all the other regrets he stored there.

The light came through the window creating a fantastic sheen that shone from the armour. As Merlin remembered how he'd spent the evening polishing it hard, not for the first time a feeling of total melancholy overcame him. Even now he couldn't quite believe that for the first time, he would not be there at Arthur's side. He would not be there to protect him, in Camelot's greatest hour of need. Not for the first time tears threatened his eyes.

It hardly seemed fair to him, for everything that he had sacrificed for his friend, it now came down to this. When Arthur needed him most, he would not be able to answer the call. Instead he would be forced to undertake a dangerous mission of his own, to regain his magic. Never before had the division between him and Arthur seemed bigger than what it did now. The division being his magic, just like it had always been, the one thing that stopped them from being completely whole. Kilgharrah had described them as being two sides of the same coin. But in this moment of Merlin felt as if they were miles apart. Only the brotherly love he felt for his friend, stopped him from becoming taken over by utter despair.

He tensed as he heard Arthur's footsteps. Now he would have to somehow explain how it was that he would not be accompanying him to Camlann. Gaius and Merlin had thought of an excuse, but to Merlin as he stood and looked across at Arthur, it felt hugely inadequate.

"I think you'll find that's everything." Merlin said attempting to steady his voice.

Arthur paused before speaking, taking in the sight before him of the various pieces of armour awaiting his inspection.

"Impressive." Arthur said, for once actually meaning it. "Very impressive... more likeable. Not from you anyway."

Merlin took a deep breath to steady himself. "Thank you sire."

Arthur continued to stare at the armour, before issuing Merlin with an intense stare. "So what are you after?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"After?" Merlin was taken by complete surprise by Arthur's question, surely he knew him better than this he thought to himself sadly.

"Come on Merlin. You're the worst servant in the world, now this. Is it money?" Arthur asked.

"No." Merlin answered quietly his mood suddenly turning sombre, say nothing of his nerves. He could feel his hands getting clammy as he stood there under Arthur's intense stare. 

"No." Arthur conceded, "It can't be that you won all of mine last night. Time off?"

"Arthur." Merlin began, only to have his voice dry up.

"No it can't be that either." said Arthur picking up a piece of armour. "You don't really do anything."

"I just wanted to make sure you had all you needed for your journey to Camlann." Merlin explained quietly desperate to get it all out of the way. "For the days ahead."

"Thank you." Arthur said, putting the piece of armour down. For a second it looked as if he was in a daze, then suddenly his head came up sharply as he looked at Merlin. "Merlin what do you mean for my journey?" he asked suddenly.

Merlin shifted on the spot, his feet refusing to stay still. All at once he could feel tears appearing in his eyes, he fought a battle at keeping them away.

"I'm afraid I won't be coming with you." Merlin said. "Not this time, I'm sorry. I have an urgent errand to run for Gaius. Vital supplies that I can't attain here." Suddenly he felt afraid to look at Arthur, he didn't want to see his friend's disappointment in that moment.

"Vital supplies?" Arthur repeated his voice suddenly sounding unsure. 

Merlin knew in that moment that Arthur did not believe him, but what else could he do? He couldn't tell him the truth now, it felt as if his whole destiny was suddenly mocking him in this moment. 

"Yes, it's." Merlin began struggling to think of what else to say.

"No, no." Arthur suddenly replied as if wanting to change the subject. "It's fine. I understand."

But Merlin knew he didn't understand, and how could he expect him to?

"Arthur." he begged softly, and for a drastic moment Merlin wanted to tell him the truth. He was so sick of there always being something between them, a barrier that was somehow always in the way. As he prepared to leave the room feeling suddenly broken and dejected, he forced himself to listen to Arthur's last words to him.

"You know Merlin." he said quietly "All those jokes about you being a coward...I never really meant any of them, I always thought you were the bravest man I ever met."

For a second Merlin could do nothing but stare at his King and friend, the tears close to pouring out of his eyes, as he finally heard Arthur's acknowledgement of him.

"Guess I was wrong." Arthur said, and he quickly turned away from Merlin.

Merlin could do nothing but stare at Arthur's back, his words stinging Merlin's ears. His eyes felt wet, as the odd tear formed in them. Never had he felt so far apart from his friend in that moment. In his own mind he had desperately hoped that Arthur would understand, but in the end it had proved too much. 

He wondered suddenly if they would ever get over it? A huge blanket of tiredness blew over Merlin, and he sighed. Ahead of him lay a journey a battle to regain his magic. As he left the room he just hoped he would regain it in time to rescue his friendship with Arthur. He prayed to the gods that he would arrive in Camlann in time.

As he left the room wearily, he cursed his destiny, and wondered if it would ever stop breaking him. In the days ahead, he had a feeling he would find out.


	7. Off to War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Merlin being absent Gwen steps into the vacant space. I have always felt Gwen more than anyone knows the relationship between these two, better than anyone else. She after all has been there from the start and witnessed it. The fact that she accepted Gaius's muttered excuse for Merlin's absence was proof of that. She more than anyone knew with Merlin missing, someone had to be there for Arthur. As well as that I hated the way she and Merlin were written in series five, as I feel she would have thought far more about him, then what we got to see in the show. I hope this makes up for it.

Gwen sighed as she watched the men getting ready in the courtyard below, preparing for war. It was not like this was the first time she had sat there watching such a sight. Camelot had been under risk many a time in her life, and she remembered each one. But this was more personal than ever before.

It wasn't just because Arthur was her husband now and the King, goodness knows she had waved him off on enough quests before. But more a feeling of fear that lingered in the air. She had a feeling that around them things were happening they no longer had any control over.

Ever since Morgana's proclamation of war, the Kingdom had been on alert. Then after Mordred's defection something that had hit Arthur hard, Gwen had sensed a tension in her husband, and Merlin too. As over time, she had noticed both King and Servant had become ever closer. Yet to Gwen something kept them apart, desite their closeness and friendship. 

It was something that fascinated Gwen. She didn't doubt that part of it stemmed from the mask that Merlin forever wore. She had known him long enough to recogonise the signs herself. For all the friendship between the three of them, there was something there in Merlin's life that kept him separate. She had known that from the day that she'd met him. Something he didn't want others to see. For years she had wondered what it was, but she knew he would never say, and she would never ask either. Only when he was ready would she be there. 

But whatever else happened she knew that Merlin and Arthur would always be together, no matter what they had to face. It was the one thing that reassured her everytime Arthur rode away. She knew as long as Merlin was there by his side, he would bring him home to her. Not for one moment did she think that Merlin would not be there.

So when Arthur told her about Merlin not coming to Camlann, she worried. She wasn't just worried about Arthur, but also her old friend too. So many times she had wanted to make him talk, but knew that he wouldn't, that was not Merlin's way. For the first time Arthur would ride off with no Merlin by her side. She frowned thinking about it.

Suddenly she knew what she had to do. If Merlin could not be there, then she would take his place. What was the point in her waiting in a cold castle, while her husband was away fighting? She would much rather be near to him, where she could keep his spirits up, and be there when he needed her. She knew that Arthur not having his friend near him, would find it especially hard this time. She quickly packed a few things and made for the courtyard putting on her blue cloak.

As she ran outside she noticed him untying his horse.

"Arthur." she called.

Arthur looked up, his eyes widening as he saw his wife make his way over to him. "Guinevere what are you doing?" he asked.

"Im coming with you." Gwen said starring straight at him, challenging him to say no.

"The battlefield is no place for a Queen." Arthur pointed out.

"I have no intention of joining you there." Gwen assured him. "Arthur if these are to be our last days, I would far rather spend them together, then sit waiting for a man that I may never see again." 

She smiled at him reaching for his hand, silently he took it. They had always worked as a team Gwen thought as they took off from the courtyard. As far as she was concerned it would remain that way. 

As they made their way to Camlann, Gwen spared a thought for the face that was missing. She hoped he would find whatever it was he needed. But for now he could be assured she would play her part in supporting her husband, just like she always had. Some things never changed in life, if only it was the same outside, she reflected.


	8. The Last Quest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the journey for Merlin and Gwaine to the Crystal Cave. Like Gwen, I think Gwaine's friendship with Merlin was downgraded quite a bit. To me Gwaine was the closest Knight to Merlin, and as such the natural companion for this dangerous journey. The biggest regret is that Merlin felt unable to tell Gwaine why they were there. My headcanon when I wrote this was that Gwaine actually knew Merlin had magic, but kept silent for Merlin's sake.

The ride off to the Valley of the Fallen Kings had proved uneventful. Despite Gwaine's inner fears, say nothing of his curiousity as to why Merlin would want to go there anyway. But ever since he'd come back from Stowell he could sense his friend was not himself. 

Although as Gwaine sadly thought, it was not as if Merlin would speak much about himself. But at the moment there was an unmistakeable sense of sadness surrounding his friend. Gwaine longed to find out what it was about, but having briefly tried to get through, he recognised that Merlin did not want to talk, so in the end he diplomatically dropped the subject.

Gwaine had been tense all the way through, with huge numbers of bandits surrounding the place. He had expected to get attacked any minute, but happily as they approached the Valley, all was quiet. Gwaine still kept his ears open as they left their horses.

All of a sudden Gwaine longed to break the tense silence. He smiled as he thought of Eira back in Camelot. She'd been very worried about Gwaine accompanying Merlin here, but he'd done his best to reassure her. Thinking of her, he followed Merlin down a path.

"Thanks for everything you did for Eira." Gwaine said a big smile on his face.

Merlin looked back, "There's no need to thank me. It was the least I could do. And you seem to care for her." he pointed out.

"Well I could hardly leave her for the Saxons could I?" Gwaine asked grinning.

As Merlin looked at him, a little smile on his lips. "Is that the only reason for rescuing her?"

"Of course." Gwaine assured him, not wanting his reputation to be damaged.

Suddenly a twig broke, and before they knew a group of bandits descended onto them. Merlin jumped back with alarm, suddenly anxious to stay away from the action. Gwaine mean while was doing his best to fight off three men. One of the bandits slipped giving the Knight time to despatch one of the others, throwing his sword into the man's side. He was soon fighting off the other one. Suddenly he heard Merlin screaming.

"Gwaine!"

Gwaine quickly turned around and realised Merlin was under attack from the other bandit. His friend had fallen over, the bandit's sword about to strike. Gwaine jumped over using his elbow to knock the man's sword out of his hand, and then finished him off. He sensed another one behind him, and without even turning around he put his sword into the man's stomach. Finally everything was still again.

Gwaine turned around Merlin was still on the ground. He looked at his friend with interest suddenly. He sensed Merlin had a real fear about him today. He had not noticed it before, not when the young man accompanied them on the numerous quests. Gwaine looked at Merlin closely. There was something about him which appeared quite different, but Gwaine could not put his finger on what it was.

"You okay?" Gwaine said helping him up. 

Merlin nodded a smile on his face, but to Gwaine the smile was too forced.

"Yes I think so." Merlin replied. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me Merlin, it's the least I could do." Gwaine smiled, suddenly anxious to get going again incase some other bandits turned up.

The two men walked on silently, with Gwaine looking around just in case anyone else tried their luck. Gwaine felt very curious as to where Merlin was going. As he followed his friend down a path, he suddenly noticed a cave coming into view. What on earth does he want in there the Knight wondered.

"I can make my own way from here." Merlin said coming to a halt.

"Sorry?" Gwaine asked disbelief in his voice, was he really expecting Gwaine to leave him alone here.

"You needn't come any further." Merlin assured him. "I'll be fine."

"How will you get back to Camelot?" Gwaine asked feeling worried. "The place is crawling with bandits."

"If I find what I'm looking for "I'll be perfectly safe." Merlin said with a smile, "I promise you."

Gwaine looked at Merlin for a second still trying to understand what his friend meant. What was it he was looking for? He really didn't want to leave him here, despite his friend's assurances. He knew suddenly that he needed to ask the question that had been flying around his mind, ever since they'd started their journey.

"What is it you're looking for?" Gwaine asked watching Merllin closely. Gwaine tried to read the Merlin's face as he answered him, regret? 

"I can't tell you that Gwaine." Merlin said "You just have to trust me. You should get going. Arthur will need you by his side."

Gwaine looked at Merlin for a second still undecided about what to do. But deep down he knew Merlin would not tell him what it was he needed in this moment. In truth there had always been something about him that remained strangley secret. Gwaine had never really asked him about it, respecting him far too much for that. But he felt curiously reluctant to leave, even though he knew he had to.

There was one thing he could do to reassure himself though. Gwaine presented Merlin with his sword.

"Look after yourself Merlin. You know to use the sharp end?" he asked a smile on his face.

"Yes. Thanks." Merlin replied smiling too.

After a brief pause they gripped each others arms, both of them looking at one another's face, as if memorising every bit of them. Gwaine turned to go, but then turned around.

"I hope you find whatever it is you're looking for." Gwaine said.

Merlin smiled in answer, as Gwaine looked at him he could see tears swelling in his eyes. All of a sudden he discovered that he too had a lump in the throat.

As he rode back to Camlann to join the others, he thought sadly about his dear friend. Gwaine knew that without Merlin, his life would be a lot emptier than what it was now. He would be grateful for him for that. He just wished that Merlin could find it in himself to be as open. But as he galloped off, he knew that somehow Merlin would never be like that, and it left him feeling incredibly sad.


	9. The Crystal Cave

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the confrontation with Morgana in the Crystal Cave, and Merlin's thoughts in the aftermath.

Merlin had managed to find a discarded torch at the entrance, now all he had to do was somehow light it. All of a sudden being without his magic, added to his problems. He looked around the entrance of the cave eventually finding two stones. Having no other alternative he began rubbing them together, urging them to light. Eventually a flame lit, and he was able to light the torch. Wanting to waste no more time, he began the climb over the rocks.

He felt a familiar tension the further he made his way into the cave. As the path narrowed he climbed up onto the rocks above and jumped onto another path. All the while he thought restlessly about how he would be able to get his magic back. If any place had the answers he knew it was this one, and yet still he had a tense and unwelcome feeling inside his head. 

He forced himself to concentrate on the task in hand. He saw the narrow path ahead, knowing that soon he would be with the crystals. Beneath his feet the surface was slippy, causing him to almost drop the torch. He concentrated harder, slowing his pace as he found his way to where he needed to be. Just as he was about to plan his next move, his torch went out.

Merlin knew he was no longer alone, even before he heard her voice, whispering around him.

"Emrys" she whispered, and suddenly it seemed as if she was everywhere.

He turned around quickly trying to see her, but nothing was there.

"Over here Emrys." the whisper came from a different direction.

Already fed up of the game, Merlin answered her, determined to show her no fear.

"I see you Morgana." he replied looking both ways.

"How well you've kept your secret." the voice said "How well you've protected my brother."

All of a sudden it felt as if her voice was coming at him from all directions. But Merlin stayed strong. He may of had no magic, but all of a sudden a sense of courage took a hold of him. Here she was a High Priestess and still she couldn't bear to face him.

"Face me Morgana." he urged her.

Still the voice came at him from every direction, an echo getting stronger and stronger.

"Who would of thought it, a worthless servant with all that power."

"Face me." Merlin repeated feeling his senses suddenly coming alive, he had the feeling she was nearby. He forced himself to stay strong, taking comfort in the fact that she was still reluctant to face him.

"But you cannot help your King now." she chided him, "You cannot even help yourself."

Merlin was suddenly bored off the game. "Why do you hide?" he asked snidely. "Are you still afraid of me?"

"I fear no one least of all you!"

His senses told Merlin she was behind him, taking the sword he swiped it where he thought she was standing. He felt a contact, and suddenly realised he had caught her arm.

Then he was face to face with his nemphys. She stood there sneering at him, hatred pouring from every pour. For a moment he felt sadness, realising that at one time she was a friend. But it ended as soon as it began as she yelled at him.

"You have defied me for the last time Emrys."

She began to back away, Merlin still had his sword outwards for protection. She was through the doorway where she'd come in from. Suddenly a cry went up.

"Stanas ahreosath!"

Merlin had barely time to look ahead before, all around him rubble started falling on top of him. He found a corner where he could shelter avoiding the worst of the rubble.

He lay on his side with his hands over his face. Eventually it stopped and he took his hands away and had a look. Everywhere around there was rubble, and stones that were blocking his path.

All at once panic began to rise in him. He told himself to stay strong, and attempted to remove the bigger stones that lay in front of him. They were so slippey though he could barely manage to take hold of them. He moved somewhere else and tried there. To start off with he'd moved a few, but then he slipped on his knees, and he fell down the rubble, more stones fallling down in front of him . Suddenly it all became too much, he gave in to his tears, and gave out a tremendous scream. "Ah."

But no one could help him now.

How long had he laid there? He had no idea. But all of a sudden a useless blanket of hopelessness, had fallen over him. As far as he was concerned the battle had been lost, Morgana had beaten him. Pretty soon she would doubtless bring Arthur down, and Camelot along with it. He had never known despair like it, not even when he was growing up, struggling with his magic. He had failed his destiny, the very thing he'd been brought to earth for. He closed his eyes again not wanting to see the light which mocked at him, as he lay there.

Light? Suddenly he woke up, where was the light coming from he wondered? He looked up, and all of a sudden it looked as if a miracle had been granted to him, in that moment. As he stared upwards he could up ahead shiny crystals beckoning him forward. He jumped up brushing himself down, and began climbing up the rocks, scrambling with all his might. He gritted his teeth as the tiredness kicked in, determined to make the top.

Eventually he made his way over the rocks, and into the cave, where endless crystals shone around him. Tiredness once again claimed him, and he fell into an exhuasted sleep.


	10. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about the conversation that was had between Gaius and Arthur, when Arthur comments on Merlin's absence. Again for me this is a interesting continuation on Gwen's relationship with Gaius. Gwen as ever is very perceptive, and knows when she's being told a lie.

The camp had been set up in a clearing in the forest. All around people were lying about, many of the men making the most of the rest, before the call of battle claimed them. No one knew when it would start, but there was already a sense of everyone being ready.

Gaius sat by a tree alongside Gwen, they were busy making various potions and treatments for when they would be needed. There was no talk, everyone just busy doing what was they had to do for what lay ahead. But as well as concentrating, Gaius knew there was a tension in the air. Merlin being absent, had clearly caused a problem for Arthur, more than Gaius had anticipated. Everyone though tiptoed around the awkward situation.

Working on Gaius was rather relieved about it. Recently it had seemed he'd had problem after problem landing on his plate. He sighed suddenly feeling every inch his age. Being outside wasn't helping his creaking bones either, but considering what everyone else was about to do, he remained quiet.

Suddenly a voice took Gaius by surprise, he phsyically jumped as he looked at Arthur.

"Vital supplies?" Arthur said looking at him.

Gaius looked at Gwen, before he turned to Arthur replying "Excuse me sire?"

"It was a shame Merlin didn't feel able to join us." Arthur remarked touching the end of his sword.

"I'm sorry sire, for I must take the blame." Gaius replied regretfully. "But I cannot treat the wounded without sufficient medicine. The timing is unfortunate I grant you. "

Gwen looked at Gaius, not believing him, but she had no intention of saying anything in front of her husband, there was little point.

"Yes." Arthur replied, "unfortunate." 

Arthur left saying nothing more, Gaius watched him go. All of a sudden he was aware of Gwen, looking at him, with a look he was not able to read.

"I don't think he believes you Gaius." she said. "I'm not sure I do either." she admitted looking at him sideways. 

Gaius could do nothing but look at Gwen awkwardly. He hated having to lie to them , but he felt there was nothing else he could do. He realised Gwen had a point to make.

"I know how devoted Merlin is to Arthur. He would never leave him at a time like this. Not for a mere errand. Not unless there was something else. Something he felt unable to talk about?"

Gaius took a deep breath, he should of known there was no fooling Gwen, she had always been intelligent. A part of him would of liked to have told her, but he knew in the long run now was not the time.

"My lady, there is something else." Gaius said leaning over towards her.

Gwen looked concerned, as she listened intently to him.

"Something of the greatest importance." Gaius continued. "And I wish I could tell you, but I can't for reasons that affect us all." 

For a moment Gwen considered what Gaius had just said. It pretty much confirmed what she'd suspected all along. She knew there had to be a good reason for Merlin not to be here. She knew him better than to think he would ever miss his duty for no reason at all. Suddenly she felt afraid for him, but realised the best thing she could now do, was to support Gaius, whom she knew would worry even more.

She leaned over to him, putting her hand on his arm.

"Then there is nothing more to be said. Except whatever it is I wish him luck." Gwen said.

Gaius nodded silently, knowing that Gwen would hopefully reassure Arthur, so that there would be no problems upon Merlin's return. Thinking of Merlin, Gaius wished he knew how his ward was getting on. While he was relieved that Gwaine had got Merlin to the crystal cave in one piece, he knew his problems were only just beginning. 

He attempted to keep himself busy, in order to stop his mind from worrying. He just wished that Arthur could understand. He sighed thinking of the oncoming battle that was about to be unleashed. Gaius had lived through many battles in his time, but this one had so much hanging on it, that at times he found it hard to keep on going. He briefly wondered what Uther would of made of it?

It seemed to him that life in Camelot just went around in circles, the same problems staying unsolved. He wondered if there would ever come a time when it changed for the better. As he thought of the oncoming battle his worry for Merlin increased, he knew the boy would never forgive himself if anything happened to Arthur. What is to become of us, he sighed. 

As the light faded and preparations were made for the night, Gaius looked up at the first signs of a full moon showing itself. He wondered not for the first time what tomorrow would bring.


	11. The Ride to Camlann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and the Knights ride to the place called Camlann, and there they contemplate what tomorrow may bring for them all.

Arthur rode with his knights through the forest, on their way to Camlann. Arthur felt he needed to see the pass, just so he could picture the battle in his mind. Leon, Gwaine and Percival accompanied him, with Percival leading the way.

Arthur was grateful for that, as it gave him a chance to try and steady his mind, for what lay ahead. The mood was quiet between them, too quiet in truth. He had known from the moment of Merlin's announcement that he would not be coming, that this would not be the same. He realised now just how much Merlin set the tone, with his constant bickering. With Merlin absent everything seemed especially sombre. Of course with the war round the corner, it was a serious time. Yet Merlin being Merlin, he would of somehow found a way cutting the tension, with one of his mad sayings, or mad words.

Arthur had been expecting that much, but only as he began riding had he begun to appreciate just how much he was missing his irriatating servant, in other ways too. It was only when he didn't have him that he realised just how important he was. It was something he would of struggled to put into words, but somehow he did not feel whole. It was like a part of him was missing. He would never understand Merlin he decided to himself. 

Yet their last conversation worried him, it was obvious the boy was lying. There was something in his face that somehow gave it away. It had made Arthur feel so sad, that after all this time he could not say to Arthur what he truly meant. He always felt with Merlin that somethings did not need to be said, that each knew what the other was thinking. There was a deep bond, he had never felt with anyone else. They were brothers in all but name. Arthur had always felt that had Merlin really needed to, he could of told him anything. Yet their last conversation made him somehow doubt it. 

Arthur was grateful that Guinevere had come along. She could not take the place of Merlin, but her being there had calmed him last night, and had also cleared his head. He had suddenly felt ready to lead his men, into what he knew could be the defining battle for Camelot's future, say nothing of Albions.

But still for all that he felt there was an edge missing, but as they approached the pass; Arthur knew that he now had to become the leader that Camelot needed him to be.

"Here it is, Camlann." Percival said.

Arthur joined him at the front. It was a narrow passage high cliffs on each side, as Arthur looked around he knew this was the place that it would all be decided. One way or another, he straightened feeling suddenly ready for what lay ahead. 

His oldest and most trusted Knight Leon voiced what everyone was thinking.

"It's a deathtrap sire." Leon said softly looking ahead.

"That's the idea." Arthur said his mood sombre.

"Morgana will have no means of escape. But neither will we." Leon continued.

"They'll always outflank us. But this is our only chance." He turned to look at Leon. "It ends here Leon. Be it life or death, it ends here." 

With that Arthur reigned in his horse and led them back. He felt suddenly elated, realising this was a decision he had made of his own back. He knew by tomorrow they would be fighting for their existance. But in his own mind he knew the battle against his sister needed to be fought and won. One way or another he would do that, he vowed, he could no longer allow Morgana to bully her way through his people. Morgana had thrown down the gauntlet and Arthur was ready to do what was needed, to stop her.


	12. The Reawakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having struggled his way into the Crystal Cave, Merlin had fallen asleep. Suddenly a voice from his past awakes him. Slowly but surely his father's words give him the belief he needs to carry on.

Merlin had laid there in the Crystal Cave, in a restless sleep. Exhausted from his climb his moral fatally wounded. He'd now accepted he'd failed in his destiny, thanks to him Arthur will die and Camelot would fall. He now just wanted to sleep for ever and make the horrible pictures in his mind go away. He just wanted a bit of peace, surely after every thing he'd been through he would be granted that at least. Every now and then he could hear a voice, but he tried to turn away from it, no he didn't want to hear, just let me sleep he begged in his mind. He felt so tired.

"Merlin."

Suddenly Merlin eye's popped open, hardly believing what he was hearing.

"Father?" he called out.

"My son."

As Merlin looked, he saw his father's ghost looking down at him, a compassionate look on his face. Merlin could hardly believe what he was seeing still thinking it was a cruel trick, but knowing he had to make sure.

"Are you here, are you real?" he asked softly still in shock.

"Dead or alive?, real or imagined? Past or present? These things are of no concequence. All that matters is that you heed the words of your father who loves you. Do not let go Merlin, do not give in."

But Merlin still felt he was in a dark place, he'd failed, he was stuck in the crystal cave unable to get out, while his friend fought for his life. He could barely look his father in the face, never mind listen to his loving words.

"I have no reason to go on, the battle is already over. Morgana has won." 

As he said it another wave of helplessness came over him. He was hardly worthy to be his father's son, he thought sadly. Merlin didn't understand why his father would even bother with him now. He had let him down, his choices had led him down the wrong path.

"Only if you accept defeat. But if you fight, if you let hope into your heart Morgana cannot be victorious."

With those words, a tiny flame of curiousness crept into Merlin's mind. Something he had long wanted to understand about himself and his magic. He realised now could be the only chance to find out the answer he needed.

"What hope is there without my magic?" Merlin asked, suddenly daring to look his father fully in the face.

Balinor suddenly kneeled down so he was right by his son. Merlin realised in that moment, that this could be his only hope of rectifying the situation. He hardly dared to breathe, as he concentrated on his father's softly spoken words.

"Merlin you are more than a son of your father. You are a son of the earth, the sea, the sky, magic is the fabric of this world, and you were born of that magic. You are magic itself. You cannot lose what you are."

Merlin took a second to understand the meaning of the words, his father had just spoken. Somewhere though deep inside his mind a new ray of hope was beginning to stir. His father’s words suddenly began to make sense to him, he realised that he’d never lost his magic at all. Now with this enthralling news he knew there was still hope to change things. But how? Suddenly finding a new strength, he faced his father and asked the question chewing him up.

“But how do I find myself again?” 

“Believe Merlin. Believe what your heart knows to be true. That you have always been, and always will be.”

“Always will be.” Merlin repeated, suddenly feeling weary.

“Rest now. Rest now my son. And soon you shall awaken into the light.”

Balinor watched as his son’s eyes closed, staying a few seconds longer to watch over him. Then he departed, leaving Merlin to his dreams.


	13. Strength of Mind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about how Gwen helps Arthur to believe in himself, as he begins to doubt whether he has done the right thing, in fighting face to face with Morgana's men.

Darkness was beginning to descend on Camlann. A furious activity was going on outside as people finished their last minute preparations while they could still see in the last of the fading light. By now there was a level of alertness, the army was ready for anything the enemy may throw at them, at any time. While the wait for engagement continued tension filled the air, while the first signs of the full moon began to show itself.

There was nothing else Arthur could do for now. He had read through the last of the reports, that had been handed to him, with regard to enemy positions. This was the time he most hated, he had always been a man of action. To him waiting was a challenge at the best of times. But now in this moment there was so much to ponder, and to doubt as well. Had he done everything correctly, was there something he‘d forgotten, or overlooked? His restless mind continued to turn over various questions making his tiredness increase.

There was one question in particular that refused to go away. Had he chosen the best place to attack? He looked at Camlann again in his mind, the narrowness of the valley had taken him by surprise, but he had been so sure as he sat there on his horse, with his most trusted Knights earlier on. But now in the coldness of the night, doubts began to creep into the edges of his mind, making him ponder and worry. If he had Merlin of course, he’d been annoying him by now. But instead all was quiet, too quiet for his liking.

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Looking across at her husband Gwen could see the signs. The signs of doubt creeping into his mind. She had known Arthur well enough by now, and she often recognised the nerves long before he did. She suspected this was where Merlin played his part, keeping him occupied, to stop himself from questioning all the time. Gwen had suspected that he was being plagued with a particular problem, but she felt inadequate to discuss the plans of battle with him. So she solved it the only way she could, by facing whatever it was, that was bothering him.

She sauntered over to the pole wrapping herself around it, as she regarded him, as he sat behind his table, his face in his hands.

“What is it?” Gwen asked making sure she made eye contact with him.

“What if Sir Leon was right? Perhaps we should’ve made our stand at Camelot.” Arthur mused his face suddenly troubled.

Gwen moved across to the table, her mind totally ready to discard Arthur’s fears away.

“Your plan is brave and bold, and our only chance of defeating Morgana once and for all. Yes we could of held out at the Citadel, but for how long? And at what cost to the Kingdom?” she insisted leaning over towards him, wanting him to believe in her words. 

“I have never for a moment doubted the valour and wisdom of this choice.” she said, hoping she’d done enough to convince him. She watched him as he got up.

“If you do not doubt me Guinevere, then I do not doubt myself.” he said “That gives me a strength greater than any weapon.

They embraced each other, holding one another tightly, Arthur suddenly felt happy, just to have his wife by his side. Who knew what tomorrow would bring, he knew for now they must make the most of things. There was so many things he wanted to tell her still, he wondered sadly if he would get the chance.

As if reading his mind, Gwen held each of his hands and pulled him over to their bed.

“Come, we must rest while we can.” she said smiling at him, determined to take in every one of his features. Tonight she would make the most of it, she knew anything could happen, and she knew she had to be ready for whatever did.

Gwen laughed as Arthur picked her up, and for a moment it reminded her off her wedding night all those years ago. Suddenly it seemed like such a long time ago, as she held on to him, she prayed that they would still have some moments left, after the battle that lay ahead. 

As they settled down for the night, an earthly silence occurred outside, who knew what they would wake up to.


	14. Looking Through the Crystals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This involves quite a few characters and scenes. It includes Merlin thanking his father and looking through the crystals and connecting with Arthur. 
> 
> I have also added a scene which is really about Arthur and Gwen talking for the last time.

As if coming out of a dream, Merlin began to regain his purpose. He was still lying in the cave, but where before, he had only dark feelings for company, now he had light. A sudden sense of confidence overtook his actions. He slowly sat up, still remembering the words of his father he knew he now had to overcome any last fears that remained.

He crouched onto his knees, taking in the crystals around him, and then concentrated. Looking down, he cupped his hands before him, then whispered “Gewyrc an lif.” His eyes changed to to gold, he breathed as all of a sudden he felt his magic move inside him. He waited a second before slowly opening his hand, as he did so a pale blue butterfly flew out into the cave. 

Merlin stood up, smiling as he watched it fly away. Suddenly he knew his father had been right, his magic was indeed safe, all around him it seemed to flow. Strengthened by the crystals about him.

He knew time was of an essence, he had to speak to Arthur warn him about what lay ahead. He walked over the crystals, a look of dark determination on his face. All of a sudden he felt like a new person. He put his hand out, and all of a sudden images started to play before his eyes. The images featured events that he was all too familiar with, off friend and foe alike. Himself being rescued by Kilgharrah, Morgana stabbing Uther, then Arthur almost drowning. As the images increased he saw more and more, forcing him to come away.

He went back over to the crystal his hand out and concentrated. Images this time recent ones suddenly filtered into his eyes. He saw Mordred riding on a horse, also Morgana’s army walking along a path. He then saw Excalibur slowly coming out of the water. Suddenly he saw Morgana’s army again, but something about the image made him take a closer look. He realised they had found a hidden path under the ridge.

He concentrated harder, “Where are you Arthur?” as he saw yet more flashes. Suddenly Arthur’s army came into view, followed by tents, and then like a miracle he saw Arthur lying in bed with Gwen. At last he thought to himself with relief.

“Arthur, Arthur I’m sorry I had to leave you. I didn’t want to. I hope one day you’ll understand why. Your plan is a good one, and you may yet save your Kingdom, but you must be aware, your armies flank is vulnerable. There’s an old path under the ridge at Camlann, and Morgana knows of it. She means to trap you, Arthur. Find the path or the battle will be over before it’s begun. Find the path!” 

************************************************************************  
Arthur suddenly stirred in his sleep, beside him Gwen woke up and sleepily looked at him.

“What’s the matter?” she asked him curious

“Merlin.” Arthur replied.

Gwen attempted to sooth him softly touching him on the chest.

“It was a dream,” she said “Just a dream.”

But Arthur knew it was not, something about it had seemed so real, like a connection, he felt like Merlin was in the room with him.

“Didn’t feel like a dream” he replied. “It felt…” Suddenly he threw the bedcovers off the bed and jumped out of bed. He knew it had been no dream. He knew it had been a real warning, and suddenly he knew it was important to act.

“Arthur!” Gwen shouted suddenly alarmed, and not understanding what had got into him. But all she could do was watch him run outside. As she watched him disappear, she closed her eyes and hoped that she would see him again.

*************************************************************************

Outside men were starting to move, Arthur ran looking around for his Knights. Suddenly Leon saw him and came running over.

“Sire, the scouts report that Morgana’s army is on the move.” Leon said.

“She’ll attack before the night is done. Tell our men to prepare.” Arthur demanded. 

“Yes sire.” Leon nodded running off.

Arthur turned around and took in the scene around him, suddenly he saw Percival and Gwaine talking to some guards.

“Percival, Gwaine” Arthur shouted. “Take a patrol of men to the rear of us. You’re looking for a hidden path running into the mountains. She means to outflank us, we must stop her now.”

Watching Percival and Gwaine disappear with a group of men, Arthur checked that everyone was preparing satisfactory. He knew he had to get himself together, now the time had come for him to be the leader he had always meant to be. But before that he knew there was something he had to do.

*************************************************************************  
To Gwen’s relief Arthur arrived back into their tent, he stopped as he saw her make her way over to him.

“Arthur? What’s going on?” she asked.

“Morgana’s army will attack us at any minute. I have to go and lead my men into battle.”

“I will help you into your armour then.” Gwen said, suddenly longing to do something helpful.

“Guinevere you’re a Queen now.” Arthur laughed. Despite himself he let her help, he had to admit she had always been good at it. It also helped to give them a few extra minutes together, before their inevitable goodbye.

“I was always intending to write a speech for the men.” he said sadly knowing now there was no time.

“Just speak from the heart Arthur.” Gwen suggested. “I know you will do yourself proud. This is your moment.”

Gwen closed her eyes for a second, she knew she could not afford to delay him, that every second was vital but for a second she just wanted to hold him.

“I know you have to go.” she said “I know that you will do fine, Arthur Pendragon, make sure you believe in yourself, and know that I am waiting for you when it’s all over.”

“Be under no illusion Guinevere the moment this is over we will be back in Camelot together, for now try not to worry, and know that I always have you on my mind.” he smiled.

Gwen did her best to smile, and after a brief kiss they separated and she watched her husband walk off for the last time.


	15. The Man Becomes a Legend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This tells about Arthur's feelings just before the battle and his addressing his men.

The moon was at it’s fullest as Arthur walked over to where his men assembled. He saw familiar faces, Leon nearby, others that he recognised from around the Citadel. Others faces that were only fleeting, but in this moment every one of them meant something to him. Being born to be King he had always known that such a moment as this would arrive. He would often wonder if he’d be up to the task, it was a worry that he had always carried with him.

But now in this moment he had to lead them. No time for worry or indecision, tonight he had to be the King he was always meant to be. He was now happy that he’d taken Guinevere’s advice and chosen to address his men from the heart. This was no time for barriers but for everyone to be equal. He took a deep breath as he looked around at them, his face set and began, to prepare for his destiny.

“Tonight…we do battle. Tonight we end this war, we end a war as old as the land itself. A war against tyranny, greed and spite. Not all will greet the dawn, some will live, some will die. But each and everyone of you fights with honour, and with pride. For not only do we fight for our lives, we fight for the future. The future of Camelot. The future of Albion. The future of the united kingdoms.”

Arthur lifted Excalibur up into the air, and paused before ending. “For the love of Camelot.”

Arthur listened with emotion as the assembled army returned his call, and for a moment he felt elated but also nervous for what lay ahead. But what ever did happen he knew he had a loyal band of Knights who would follow wherever he went. Now all they could do was to see what tomorrow would bring.


	16. Destiny Calls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is about Merlin's last words with his father, as well as he preparing to meet his destiny as he breaks out of the Crystal Cave.

Merlin had watched Arthur give his speech, safe in the knowledge that he had told his friend all he could for now. As he stood back from the crystal, he sensed a vision behind him. He turned to find the ghostly form of his father Balinor was still standing there. All of a sudden he felt an incredible bond with his father, in Merlin's hour of need he had answered his call. He knew he needed to get to Camlann but first he needed to thank his father, for his strength and advice.

"Thank you. For your help and guidance." Merlin said feeling very emotional for a second, still scarely believing his father was there at all.

"I only offered you a hand. You stand on your own two feet Merlin you always have done." Balinor smiled sadly.

"As did you father." Merlin replied. "I follow in your footsteps."

"Your journey has only just begun. You wield a power you cannot yet conceive of. Only in the heart of the Crystal Cave will your true self be revealed."

Merlin and his father turned and looked at the centre of the cave, the crystals shining brightly their power unyielding. Up ahead Merlin could see a short climb and then daylight, Merlin knew his destiny was calling him. He could not resist one last look at his father, who stood watching him. 

"Move towards the light. Your destiny awakes. Do not be afraid.Trust in what you are, trust in what will be." his father said pointing ahead.

Merlin began to carefully climb up the rocks towards the light. First of all he climbed nervously, but suddenly a new confidence took him over. Just before the final climb he took one last look back at his father, knowing this would be the last time he'd see him.

"Goodbye father." he said quietly trying to hide the tears.

"There are no goodbyes." Balinor replied "Emrys, for I will always be. As you will always be."

After a second Merlin began the final climb, closing his eyes for a second. Then he began to climb up, as he did so he could feel an enormous surge of power form within him. The feeling took him by surprise but he trusted it, and went with it. As he came to the top and lifted his arms out, the cave gave way, rocks flying out into the forest. He stalked out holding his staff ahead of him, out of nowhere his horse arrived, now it was onwards to Camlann and his destiny.


	17. Camlann

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have slightly changed my style as we get into the last episode. The chapters will be more flowing and read more like a ongoing journey with different characters, rather than individual scenes.

The battle had been going on for four hours, a noise of torrid steel echoed around the pass. The ferocity continued with men strewn along the way. Arthur had led by example urging his men onwards. He gritted his teeth the moment any signs of weakness began to threaten him. This was a battle he could not lose he told himself, encouraging both himself and the others around him.

He fought the only way he knew how, from the front foot, he was a Pendragon he would never take a step back. Even as they continued the fighting the Saxons drums continued to beat, it seemed as if the sound of them echoed all around them. Arthur had no sooner got rid of one Saxon, then three others would suddenly appear. At times he felt as though it was a never-ending battle of physical endurance. But he vowed to himself he would never stop fighting for what he knew to be right.

Up ahead of him he glanced the familiar face of Sir Leon his oldest and most experienced Knight. He had no sooner seen him, when all of a sudden he was ambushed by two enemy soldiers. He straightened up before jumping into one of their chests knocking the man down onto the ground. As he did so he turned quickly to finish off the man behind him. Excalibur glinted in the night sky as Arthur finished off another Saxon. There was no time to take a breath, on and on the battle raged.

Merlin increased his speed his long white hair flying behind him as he urged his horse onwards towards Camlann. Never before had a journey seemed so long. His eyes focussed ahead never looking at any of the scenes that flew by his himself and his horse. He had to reach Camlann he told himself as he kicked at his horse, urging it faster and faster. He was going at a speed he’d never riden at before, so fast that he could barely feel himself or his horse move. It was as if they were flying like they had gone beyond mere movement.

A terrifying picture formed in his mind, Mordred and Arthur meeting on the battle ground of Camlann. The prophecy coming to life, his destiny was calling and yet he still felt as if he was trapped into another world from which he could not escape from. He pushed his body down onto the horse his feet kicking again. He had to get there, and stop it from happening. He prayed to the Gods that he would arrive in time.

As Mordred disposed of another enemy his face took on the look of someone who fought only to exist. His doubts were now behind him, he had made his choice now he knew he must face the part that life had selected for him and play it to the end. These people who stood between him and his future were no longer his friends, but people who needed to be removed, in order for him to just live.

He clenched his jaw as he led faced another enemy and put him to the sword. Like a machine he went looking for another victim, on and on the killing went, he closed his eyes to other man’s suffering this is what they’ve done to me he told himself. This is what they’ve forced me to become. 

All at once he found himself separated from his fellow soldiers, he tensed as he suddenly came up against four of the enemy. Just as he was about to accept his fate, an almight explostion occurred, and the four men were flying off their feet. They died were they landed. Mordred looked over from where the power surge had come from, and met the determined stare of Morgana. She looked proudly on at him like a parent would look on her child. He faced her for a second, before going back to the centre of the battle and finding his next victim.

How long had he been on his horse Merlin wondered desperately. His biggest fear refused to leave him, but somehow he fought it away. He would be successful in his destiny, he would prevent Arthur from being killed at Camlann. The prophecy would not come to pass. He would live up to his father’s name, he was the mighty Emrys and along with Arthur he would build Camelot into a respected kingdom and Albion would come about and magic would be returned to the realm, and he would at last be able to reveal who he really was.

All at once he could sense the battle up ahead, he could hear the sound of steel on steel being thrown, he could sense the suffering of the dying, as they called their gods to take pity on them. This gave him fresh hope and onward he rode towards Camlann.

The first lights of day was beginning to show, and still the battle raged all around Arthur. For the first time he could feel real tiredness beginning to set in. He would clench his teeth in an attempt to fight it off, but still it would creep back in. There was an unending mass of men now moving as one, swords being thrown in every direction. As many people were now being killed by tiredness as by enemy hands as bodies began to shut down, people were caught unawares. Arthur himself had almost been caught out, only at the last minute had an inner sense saved him, and he threw out his sword and downed the Saxon in one stroke. 

He wondered how much longer the battle would continue for? He would of done anything for a break, a sit down. No he told himself banish such thoughts, that was only showing weakness, this was battle that had to be won for Camelot’s and Albion’s future. Just as he cleared the negative thoughts from his mind a screech overhead made him look above. All at once his heart sank, as he saw a dragon overhead. The same dragon he’d seen in the caves at Ismere, Morgana’s dragon. He watched in horror as flames came out of the creatures mouth and unleashed them on top of his men. He himself was forced to take cover on the ground.

He could hear men scream as they were burnt to a cinder and dropped down where they fell. All around them fires were raging. For a terrible moment Arthur thought the end was near, how on earth could they face down a dragon as well as the Saxons. He tried to raise his spirits, but he feared that Camelot could be facing defeat.

Yet another casualty had been brought in to the makeshift hospital. Another man burnt and probably not going home. Gwen and Gaius had been tending the injured for what seemed like them was days. Gwen could barely keep herself awake, but she fought the tiredness like her life depended on it. At least by doing this it helped keep her mind from worrying about Arthur. All of a sudden another three men were brought in, prompting Gwen to go into a frenzy.

“Bandages,” she cried out, forcing Gaius to look up. “I need bandages.” She came running through desperately looking for some fresh dressings, in what was a never ending battle for life. Just as she made her way back with some fresh dressings, a big burly Saxon came through the entrance of the tent about to finish off one of the Camelot guards. As he was about to go in for the kill, a swift stroke brought the Saxon to the knees and fell down dead on the spot, Gwen standing over him sword in hand. She stood over him for a second, her face clenched. She didn’t have time to take stock of what she’d done. Out here she was fast learning it was kill, or be killed. She ran back through where her newly arrived casualty lay waiting for attention. One of them she recognised from the Citadel, knowing he would not make the new day, she wondered when this hell would end.

Gaius having watched Gwen dispose of the Saxon sighed in relief, although he could see the Queen was near the end of her tether, as was he. In his life he had seen battles such as these played out so many times, but never had they seemed as personal as this. He worried constantly for Merlin, Arthur, Gwen the odds were stacked against them, he knew that. It didn’t help that he felt so tired himself, when would it end he wondered, and more to the point what was to become of them all, when it did. 

To Arthur’s relief the dragon had disappeared again. The fires were still burning, it had done the job of separating the battles. So much so, that he had a brief moment to look at the overall picture. He could see Leon still fighting over the far end of the pass. He sensed the battle was reaching its end but as he looked at the number of Saxons still around, he had no idea what the outcome would be, but he felt they still were in real danger. More men had come down from the mountain pass, he though he’d seen Percival before, he felt relief when the big Knight had appeared. But his heart faltered as he recognised many of the fallen lying around him. 

A cry came and he turned around to see a Saxon running at him with an axe in hand, Arthur had almost lost his balance. He managed to regain it in time to dispose of him, along with another man. Just as he made to run over to another group an enormous huge bolt of lightning sounded. Arthur stopped in shock and looked at where the sound came from.

Standing on top of the mountain an old man with long white hair and a long white beard stood holding a staff. Suddenly another huge strike occurred and Arthur watched as large groups of Saxons were thrown on to the ground. Arthur was transfixed by the sight, all he could do was stand and stare at the figure and the power he unleashed. 

He had never known power like it, he stood still and watched as another bolt of lightning exploded into the sky. Arthur looked and for a second the old man met his stare, and strangely it was as if there was a connection between the two of them. Arthur shook his head in wonder, how could that be the man was a sorcerer, something he didn’t he agree with. Yet he looked again, and their eyes met and stayed locked on each other, and it was as if he was being pulled in. 

The first thing Merlin had felt when he saw Arthur on the battle field was relief. He had been on time, he could now play his part in their future together. As their eyes met emotion flooded out of every pour, he needed to reign them in so he could do what was needed.

The power that surged out of Merlin in that moment was as much about relief then anything else. For hours he’d had to beat back the fear that he was already too late to make a difference, but now he knew he’d been on time. He looked overhead at the groups of Saxons and seeing a huge group unleashed another bolt of lightning which blew them all away.

“Emrys.”

Just as he prepared to meet Arthur again a scream came from underneath him, and he met the noise with a defiant stare. The form of Morgana stood there hatred coming from every bit of her. Merlin could feel and he closed his eyes in determination and lifted the staff and blew her off her feet. She landed with a loud bang on the ground. Satisfied he had subdued her he turned his attention to what he could see. There were still too many Saxons still about for his liking, he lifted his staff again and released another huge bolt of power, and watched as they fell around the battlefield. It was now becoming more stretched, just as he was about to take stock, he heard the cries of a dragon. Looking skywards he saw Aithusa flying overhead making ready to attack. He fixed his eyes on her and shouted his command across the pass.

“Nun de ge dei seeking ka emois epe’essin hypanthia!”

At the force of the command Aithusa starred at him and after a slight hesitation faltered, flying off limply and disappearing over the mountain behind him. ? Emrys watched her disappear. When she was gone he looked down and again his eyes met Arthur’s.

Arthur had watched stunned as the man had not only dealt with the Saxons, he had also sorted Morgana out as well. The way he had commanded the dragon though had left him gasping. He still did not know what to make of it, he eventually cut his stare of the old man, and reminded himself he had a battle to finish off. Pushing Excalibur over his head he called out loudly “For the love of Camelot.” and led his men to finish off what remained of the Saxons. As Arthur ran off suddenly another leash of lightning was released as he ran he could feel its power follow him down into the pass.

From their vantage point outside the tent Gwen watched in wonder as another bolt of lightning exploded into the night’s sky. The noise had forced her to come outside at first she feared it was a bad sign. But then seeing the look on Gaius’s face as he watched, she became more relaxed.

“Who is it?” she asked Gaius curiously.

“Someone truly remarkable.” Gaius replied. Gwen noticed his tone of voice had a spot of pride in it.

“You know him?” she asked suddenly. 

“Let’s just say he deserves our gratitude.” Gaius replied as he watched the figure on the mountain, before returning to the tent.

Gwen starred at Gaius her curiosity still apparent. She regarded the old man until the figure turned around and disappeared. As she turned to go into the tent a thought suddenly occurred to her. No she thought it couldn’t be, that would be too incredible.


	18. The Pawn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This opens with Emrys trying to find Arthur, through to Mordred facing his end. The Mordred part in particular many people were wondering why he was smiling at the end. To me it was obvious that he saw himself for the pawn he was in a game for bigger than himself.

Emrys had arrived down from the mountain and was entering the pass. All around him bodies of men littered the ground, forcing him to step over them as he went. In the distance he could hear the last cries of battle. Up ahead the fires from Aithusa continued to burn alongside discarded weapons, swords stuck in men, in the ground, the scars of battle dominated the eye as far as he could see.

He though had eyes for only one thing, Arthur. He had to be about somewhere, he prayed he would not find him among the dead. The last time he’d seen him was running down the very pass he was on now. But Arthur was no where to be seen. Deep inside his mind he was relieved that so far he had not found him. He prayed that he was already safe back at base watching what remained of the Saxons disappearing back over the border.

He continued to walk using his staff to guide him, making sure he searched every place. Men were slumped every where, some still muttering in their death throes before their spirits departed, others had long since joined the gods, only their bodies remained. Emrys looked with out actually seeing, only Arthur’s face was printed on his mind. The more he looked the more his mind began to wander, and a thought implanted which he tried to fight off. No, he would not entertain the idea he thought to himself, he would find his friend and they would go back to Camelot together, and build the world they had dreamed about. 

 

Arthur was finishing the last of the Saxons. As he looked around the landscape all he could see were bodies. Most by now had died, only a few lay still mumbling. He took some minutes to walk around, pain etched on his face, as he saw the scars of battle. His men, who but a few hours ago had stood underneath the moonlight with him, preparing for this damned war. Being the man he was Arthur would never shirk his duty, but as he looked around and saw the waste he took a minute to mourn them all. Had it been worth it, he wondered. While he was conditioned to fight, he took no pleasure in the results of it. 

He realised he had strayed into a cave. Isolated bodies were lying around, some had obviously crawled into it, to die their last moments away from the ferocity around them outside. He took a minute to check up on them. As he turned away a loud cry came up from behind him, Arthur jumped and threw his sword at the man, and next minute he lay dead at his feet.

Looking up one of his men raised a hand to Arthur, taking a deep breath he ran over to him. The man was in a bad way, in fact just about to die. Crouching down Arthur stayed with him, lightly touching the man on his chest as he silently succumbed to his injury. Arthur stayed with him staring down at him, his mind lost in thought. How many more will die tonight he asked himself.

Still crouching at the man’s side, Arthur prepared to move. As he did so, he felt a presence, or thought he did. It was only when he heard a faint noise of steel, that he knew he’d initially been right. He jumped up turning around in one moment. He went to put his sword up, but already there was contact on Excalibur, a strength that took him by surprise. As he looked up he stood in shock as he came face to face with Mordred. The two of them stood in shock for a second, each studying the other.

For a second Arthur paused, literally not knowing what to do. Not for one moment had he expected this. For a second he thought back to the time the young man was a Knight. His most loyal Knight he’d called him, and meant it. He had felt a bond with Mordred that he had never felt before. He had such plans for the boy, but somehow it had all gone done to dust. Even now the speed of it had left Arthur pained and regretful. At the time he felt Mordred had betrayed him, but in time he realised the fault was as much his, for letting him in. The sad fact was Mordred had never truly belonged, only as he stood there looking at the boy had he realised how true that was.

Suddenly a sharp pain interrupted his thoughts. He looked in shock as he realised Mordred’s sword had gone into his stomach. Arthur stood looking at the young man, not quite believing it had come to this. The brutality of the moment, shook Arthur to his core. He had not expected to die like this. He always suspected the battlefield would take him in the end, but not now when there was still so much to do. 

“I had no choice.” Mordred’s voice brought him the present.

The words stuck in Arthur’s throat, and from nowhere he found a feeling of anger, and strength, and thrust Excalibur into the young man’s stomach, making sure it went deep inside him. For what seemed like minutes the men stood looking at one another, neither speaking but eyes unmoving and unflinching. 

Eventually after another thrust Arthur pulled Excalibur out of Mordred and watched him fall to the ground. In that moment all his hatred disappeared and all he could feel was pity. Then suddenly the pain began, he looked down and he held his hand over the wound and turned around. He walked a few steps before he went to fall, he put out Excalibur, the sword supported him for a second until he fell on his knee. Taking a few minutes to get his strength back, he struggled over to a rock where he collapsed onto it and waited to die.

 

Just before he faced the moment of death Mordred found his peace at long last. In the moment that the sword had been thrust into him he felt little pain. His whole life after all had plenty of it. He had often wondered what it would be like to suffer a warrior’s death. From his childhood to his teenage years growing up with the Druids, he had learnt many things. The cycle of life, the way every month and every season had a meaning. From being born to facing death, it was all part of the same thing. He knew he had nothing to fear from it.

For a second he allowed himself to think of Kara, at long last he would be with her, he would be away from the awful ways of the world. A world where he could never find the peace, he would get now in his final moment. For it was only now that Mordred realised he had been born to play a part, nothing else and now he had performed it. 

As he faced his final moment he smiled, because he knew at long last he was free of it all. No more was he the pawn of fortune that others played with and mocked. For now he would truly find the peace he had failed to find on his time on earth, and for that he was truly happy at last.

 

Back at the medical tent events were starting to calm down. Most of the people were now dead, so there was nothing that Gwen could do about them, other than cover them up best she could. She continued to work, trying to keep her mind from straying. She had heard nothing about Arthur for a while. But in the chaos of the battle, she refused to let it overcome her, knowing that as Queen she needed to keep her composure. 

Having worked with Gaius through the night, she had let him catch up a few hours sleep. The man was beginning to look his years, though she understood that his own mind was also elsewhere.

It was only now she had thought of Merlin still being missing. She felt a bit guilty but then reasoned that she’d had a lot on her plate, there was only so much that she could do. She attempted to keep her spirits up about his disappearance as much for Gaius’s sake as her own. Only when they’d watched the sorcerer on the mountain, had she suddenly thought about him. 

She remembered Gaius’s voice as he had spoken about him. There was an emotion to it that had made her wonder. Not only that but the worry had seemed to disappear from his face as well, it almost seemed like the Gaius of old. But she’d dismissed the thought, after all Merlin was young, and he looked nothing like the old sorcerer she’d seen and yet….

Suddenly Sir Leon came rushing into the tent, with news. Gwen lept up turning around to face him, relieved to see a familiar face at long last, and hopefully he brought her the news she was waiting for.

“My lady the battle is won. The Saxons are in full retreat. They’re making for the hills. I’ve dispatched 200 men to drive our advantage home.” he said breathlessly.

Gwen nodded. “And Arthur?” she asked, a touch of desperation slipping into her voice.

Sir Leon’s face clouded for a minute. “We’ll keep looking.” he said.

“Thank you.” Gwen said quietly, her disappointment suddenly starting to show on her face. She turned around quickly trying to hide the emotion from him, knowing that she needed to keep her self together. But at this moment a stray tear ran down her face, angrily she brushed it away. She pulled herself together calling out at a guard.

“I need some water please.” 

For a second Leon stayed in the tent wishing he could have been more of a comfort to her. He had not let on, how worried they all were about Arthur, reasoning that Gwen had enough on her plate. But as he ran out he knew it would be another long day while they searched through the various bodies, attempting to find their King. It was coming on to two day, and still there no sign of him, not for the first time Leon was having serious worries.

 

He had searched all along the pass, with no sight of Arthur. By now desperation had entered his movements. He struck his staff down hard, jumping over the littered bodies, his eyes endlessly watching out for his friend. But he was nowhere to be found. He scaled the horizon, ahead of him was what looked like a cave. He moved quickly towards it, his nerves increasing as he walked. It was a big space, the usual sight of dying bodies lay around. He looked out quickly behind him, before turning around, and suddenly he was in shock.

Up ahead he saw Mordred first lying on the ground a sword by his hand, obviously dead. His eyes restlessly scanned around, and suddenly he saw him, and he ran over dropping his staff, and leaping over Mordred’s body as he landed by Arthur’s side. For a moment he thought he was already too late. He reached over and put a finger on Arthur’s temple, there was still a faint pulse going, he breathed a sigh of relief.

Gathering Excalibur, he put Arthur’s hand around his shoulder and picked him up. He walked over Mordred’s body giving barely giving him a backward glance. By now there were few people around, only the dead. Emrys kept his head down, attempting to keep on top of his emotions. Every now and then he would have to control a outpouring of tears but he stubbornly kept them away. He had no time for tears, he must save Arthur. He had not come through everything that he had, to allow his friend to die in such a useless way.

As he walked he thought of the past so many images past through his mind in this moment. Meeting Arthur all the those years ago, meeting the Dragon, the face of his mentor Gaius, his mother drying his eyes from some outpouring of tears. His father’s kind face as he stood with him and told him about his destiny, and how he was yet to conceive the power he had at his finger tips. Those words almost finished him off in this bleakest of moments. Would he ever get that far he thought despondently.  
He remembered of all the challenges he’d faced in the year leading up to Camlann, the biggest challenge had remained the same. It was constant from his first year in Camelot to now. The warning he had received from the Dragon all those years ago. The Druid boy, he is dangerous, he closed his eyes as he considered how true that had proved. He had no emotions towards Mordred now, curiously he couldn’t even find it in himself to hate him. But he realised now it would prove to be his biggest mistake, if this was to be Arthur’s last days. For that thought alone he hated himself, for more than he ever could Mordred.


	19. Journey to Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I have added scenes into this one regarding Gaius. How did Gaius find Merlin and Arthur so quickly? More to the point how come no one realized Gaius was not with everyone returning to Camelot? I hope this makes some plausible sense.

Merlin had managed to hide Arthur out in the forest. It was well sheltered by trees, and bushes still with enough greenery on, to act as a camouflage for them. Merlin was worried about any news of Arthur’s condition getting out, should it lead to unrest, or even another strike by Morgana. 

The King had collapsed where Merlin had left him, and he had been asleep for most of the afternoon, to Merlin’s relief. He was now back into his normal self, for a while he sat by his friend his head in his hands wondering what to do next, his mind was so tired he could not get it to think logically.

Having not ate for almost two days, Merlin decided to look for some food, for the two of them. Making sure he had covered Arthur as much as he could, he walked further into the forest. Hunting had never been his thing, every time he went out with Arthur he would internally be hating every minute of it. But now he was beginning to feel hungry, and he knew once Arthur awoke he would need to strengthen him the best he could.

But it seemed that with all the fighting the forest had gone unusually silent. No birds sang, and Merlin couldn’t even find any deer tracks either. He sighed to himself and decided to sit down for a minute and rest his weary legs. Before he knew it, he was fast asleep.

 

Gaius bent over the young man. It seemed they were already too late, he would do the best he could and comfort the young man, but he guessed the man had only a couple hours at the most.

“Every time I keep thinking there is no one else around, I find somebody else.” his companion said, a young man with fair hair.

“You’ve done well to find him at all. He must have crawled for quite a time, to end up here.” Gaius remarked. “You are doing a good job Malvick.”

“Expect that it appears to be too late for everyone.” Malvick sighed.

“In a battle such as this there will be many victims such as this young man.” Gaius mused. “I’ve seen more than my fair share over the years.”

“I’m sure.” Malvick said sadly looking ahead. “I think we need to head back, if there is really nothing you can do. The night will soon arrive, and we’ll be targets for any Saxons.”

“Yes indeed.” Gaius agreed, putting his supplies back into his bag.

“I’m just going to check the path ahead is clear. Stay here for a moment.” Malvick said.

“Okay take care.” Gaius watched the young man go. Already he was beginning to feel cold, the wind had a distinct chill to it all of a sudden.

Gaius picked up his bag and walked a few paces, trying to get the stiffness out of his legs.

 

Merlin had woken with a start wondering how long he’d slept for. To his relief it was still light, he got up wiping the debris off his legs. He listened to the wind still desperate to find something to eat. Having no clear idea which way to go he chose left and walked off. He kept his eyes open and turned his ears each way, hoping that a sound would alert him to something near. He’d been walking for a few minutes, when he suddenly heard a twig break, he froze on the spot. He looked over a bush hoping that a deer has unsuspectingly arrived his way. As he stared he could barely believe his eyes. There over in a clearing looking all about him was Gaius. Merlin stood stunned to the spot, what on earth was he doing out here?

“Gaius.” he called out, not wanting to shout too loud.

Merlin watched Gaius looking around, then looking as though he had dismissed what he’d just heard. Merlin crept nearer.

“Gaius, over here.” Merlin called, in the end he picked up a twig and threw it over to where his mentor was.

“Merlin!” Gaius called, rushing over, hugging Merlin to him. “Thank god you are okay. You are aren’t you?” Gaius looked at him closely.

“Yes I’m fine.” Merlin assured him, feeling suddenly unsteady.

“Where’s Arthur?” Gaius asked, watching his ward very carefully.

“Gaius I was too late.” 

Merlin said, and suddenly the emotion became too much for him. As he’d rescued Arthur he had kept all his emotion inside, but seeing Gaius just made it all flood out of him.

“Merlin what are you saying? Is Arthur dead?” Gaius asked in shock.

“No he’s still alive, barely though. I’d got there and Mordred was lying on the ground, and I found Arthur feet away and he …..” suddenly Merlin was unable to continue for a minute.

“Okay Merlin take a few minutes to compose yourself.” Gaius said. “I need to know how badly hurt he is.”

After a few moments Merlin tried again, his voice was still cracking but knowing that time was now important he described Arthur’s condition best he could.

“He still had a pulse when you left him?” Gaius asked, looking back in case Malvick arrived.

“It was a bit stronger, than it was before.” Merlin confirmed wiping away more tears, all of a sudden he felt totally exhausted, his emotion just adding to it.

“Well that’s a good sign. Malvick will be back in a minute, I need to see Arthur as soon as I can. It’ll be best if I go back to the camp for now, as they’ll be waiting for me. I will make an excuse to stay here longer, and then I’ll come back.” Gaius said.

Merlin nodded. “How soon though, I’m afraid he won’t wake up.”

“Hopefully this evening. But I need to persuade Gwen to go back to Camelot, she is barely holding it together at the moment.” Gaius said.

Merlin felt yet more remorse at the news, wondering if she would blame him, for not being by Arthur’s side. His head had suddenly started to ache, and he felt unbalanced on his feet. He leaned on a nearby tree, wishing he could see straight.

Gaius looked at Merlin with concern. “How long since you’ve eaten?” he asked.

“A couple of days, that was what I was trying to do, look for some food.” Merlin explained “I was never the hunter though.” Merlin remarked sadly.

“Merlin you need to be strong.” Gaius said, putting his hands on Merlin’s shoulders. “I know it’s hard. I will come back tonight, and look Arthur over. Just make sure that he rests for now, the longer he sleeps the better it will be.”

“Okay.” Merlin nodded, feeling more steady, suddenly calmed by Gaius’s words.

“I think Malvick’s coming back we don’t want any news coming back about Arthur yet.” Gaius said. “Just tell me where to find you.”

“There is a path down by the oak tree over there.” Merlin pointed “Keep going straight down, there is a little corpse off left we are hiding in there.”

“Okay.” Gaius said giving Merlin a hug. “Just try and rest yourself, we will have a busy few days ahead. I will see you later.”

“Thanks Gaius it’s good to see you.”

“And you my boy.” Gaius smiled before heading back to where he could see Malvick looking around. 

Merlin watched them go, taking a deep breathe he decided to go back to Arthur, worried that he may of woken up already. He noticed that all of a sudden his step felt a bit brisker, suddenly he felt confident that Gaius would be able to cure Arthur, and maybe soon they would all be back in Camelot. He grabbed some blackberries off a nearby bush, eating them as he went, pretending they were something more substantial. As he got back to Arthur the sun was just beginning to set behind him. He sat down and fell into an exhaustive sleep. 

 

By the time Gaius and Malvick were back at the camp, the tents were starting to be taken down. Everywhere supplies were being boxed away, Gaius sighed with relief maybe this would be easier than he thought. He entered Gwen’s tent, to find her helping Leon packing items away.

“Gaius.” Gwen jumped up. “Any news of Arthur.”

For a moment Gaius paused, he could see the strain already on Gwen’s face. He wondered for a second about whether he should be honest or not. But considering he didn’t yet know how bad Arthur was, it seemed a pointless thing to do. 

“No news I’m afraid.” Gaius said sadly. 

“Oh I really thought you may of heard something.” Gwen said wiping a stray tear out of her face.

“I found a lot of people round about.” Gaius explained. “For all we know he could yet come back. You can’t lose your hope yet my lady.”

Leon joined in. “Gaius is right, sometimes people get separated and they end up somewhere away from the battle field. It is still early days yet.”

Gwen looked at the pair of them, they both seemed quite cheerful still. She took that to mean it was too premature to lose hope quite yet.

“Thank you, both of you I appreciate that.” she smiled.

“I was thinking.” Gaius said “I found quite a few stranded bodies, I think it maybe worth me hanging around a couple more days.”

“Let me help you.” Gwen said, suddenly eager to do something.

“Ah no my lady.” Gaius said. “I think it may be best if you return to Camelot now. We need to get the Kingdom back to normal as soon as possible.” He looked at Leon hoping that he’d agree.

“Yes I think that’s a good idea my lady.” Leon said, “I’ll get some Knights to escort you back to the Citadel. We will continue the search for Arthur and others. Any news I will personally let you know.”

After a pause Gwen accepted it, realising that she was now the monarch. Any uncertainty would only add to the vulnerability of Camelot. At least there she could keep herself busy, and not be thinking about Arthur every waking minute. It was this that was stopping her from functioning properly.

She kept imaging him injured on his own in some valley, with not even Merlin this time for company. She hated that she could not be there for him. But she also knew that when she married him she would have a duty to perform. Now was the time for her to become a Queen, and help her Kingdom back onto its feet.

“We will leave as soon as possible.” Gwen said. “I just ask that if you hear any news…”

“We will let you know straight away.” Leon finished off the sentence for her.

Gwen smiled, trying to fight off the tiredness that she suddenly felt, but she knew that this was the right thing to do. She just prayed that soon she’d be reunited with her husband.

 

The main group of Knights had left taking Gwen back to Camelot. Leon, and Percival had stayed behind, taking part in the searches for Arthur and other stragglers. It was by now early evening and along with Gaius they were sitting round a fire having their soup. There was little talk, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Leon and Percival knew the fact that there’d been no news of Arthur was not encouraging.

Leon had vaguely remembered seeing Arthur, early on in the battle, but with the sudden change in ferocity of the fighting, he had lost sight of his leader. At the end of the battle he had combed around searching everywhere, but few people had remembered seeing him. There had been so many injuries that they had all got caught up in other duties. Only when Leon had bumped into Gwaine and Percival had they suddenly realised that their King was now missing.

Each of the Knights were well aware that fighting brought its own risks, but never in their wildest dreams had they expected this. The idea that Arthur was dead was something that they all refused to believe. He was their leader, he was still young, none of them could even entertain the idea of life without him. Yet, at the moment that was what they were all facing.

“I need to get some herbs for tomorrow.” Gaius said interrupting the silence. “I’ll get them tonight so I can go straight out tomorrow.”

“Percival here, will go with you.” Leon said pointing over the big knight.

“Yes of course.” Percival said getting up.

“No, no I won’t be going far.” Gaius stressed. “Only a little way into the forest.”

“Gaius there are Saxons still in the woods, I can’t have you going in there on your own.” Leon insisted.

“Really Leon I will be fine. I will stay well within shouting distance.” Gaius laughed. “You have enough to worry about, without have to baby sit me.”

Leon paused, suddenly he felt extremely tired. Another day he would have argued with Gaius, but sighing he nodded and let the old man walk into the woods. A few hours later Leon had fallen asleep not even realizing that Gaius had not returned.


	20. The Test of Friendship

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the start of it all Merlin's confession, and more importantly Arthur's reation to it. All of a sudden Arthur's world is upside down, and his whole relationship with Merlin and who they both are, has to be reconstructed.
> 
> Also back in Camelot Gwen waits to hear about her husband, and is forced to consider the unthinkable.

Merlin woke up with a start, night fall was beginning to make it’s presence felt. Looking about he saw Gaius had still not arrived. He looked across at Arthur, he was still asleep, though it seemed to be a lighter sleep. He noticed that his friend’s body would move every now and then, even though his eyes remained firmly shut.

Merlin decided to gather more firewood for the night ahead. His mood which had improved upon seeing Gaius, was slowly beginning to deteriorate. The darkening of the night seemed to match his inner thoughts. It was as if he had begun to see things ever clearer after his sleep. But sadly it did not cheer him, as his mind was in turmoil. So many things were passing through his mind at breakneck speed, that he barely knew where to start.

He picked up a load of wood and moved slowly back to Arthur, his thoughts still whirling around inside him. Having checked that Arthur was still asleep, he made himself busy sorting the wood, trying to keep negative thoughts at bay. No matter how hard he tried though, one thought came back and mocked him, time after time. One thought that would not be kept at bay. He closed his eyes for a second, before forcing himself to continue with his task. Just as he was about to continue, Arthur’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Merlin.” he called.

Merlin ran over to him, crouching by his side, relieved just to hear his voice again.

“How are you feeling?” Merlin asked.

Arthur tried to move. “Ah, ah!” He grabbed Merlin’s shoulder, his face pained and he sounded breathless.

Merlin grabbed hold of Arthur’s shoulder before holding his arm. “Lie back, lie back.” he urged softly, a familiar emotion gripping his voice, and worse than that guilt.

“Where have you been?” Arthur asked, his voice a mask of annoyance, as if he’d been kept waiting all day. 

“It doesn’t matter now.” Merlin replied, holding his arm more tightly, trying to keep his emotion in check. But he knew he was fighting a losing battle where that was concerned.

“Ah.” Arthur moaned “My side, my side.” he half turned to look at it, but the effort was too much.

Merlin looked at his wound, trying to keep his voice hopeful. “You’re not bleeding.”

“That’s all right.” Arthur said trying to put a bit of humour in his voice. “I thought I was dying.”

All of a sudden it was too much for Merlin, before he knew it the words were spilling out of his mouth. It was as if someone had opened a bottle and every thing poured out. But all of a sudden it didn’t matter anymore to him. All he knew was he was losing his friend, and he couldn’t bear the idea that Arthur might leave, and still not know who he was. It was more important for Arthur than himself. But he knew now could be the only chance he had. 

“I’m sorry I thought I’d defied the prophecy. I thought I was in time.” he cried out.

“What are you talking about?” Arthur asked looking at him with a look of bemusement on his face.

“I defeated the Saxons, the dragon.” he continued tears falling as he spoke, “And yet, and yet I knew it was Mordred that I must stop.”

Arthur patted him on the shoulder he had an ironic smile on his face, “The person who defeated them was the sorcerer.” he said slowly as if talking to a child.

“It was me.” Merlin said quickly grabbing Arthur by the wrist, desperate for him to believe him, his tears falling freely by now.

“Don’t be ridiculous Merlin.” Arthur said his tone turning more irritated. He looked hard at Merlin, as if trying to work out what had got into him. “ This is stupid. Why would you say that?” he asked in a disbelieving tone.

“I’m a ….”Merlin tried to say the word, but suddenly his tears forced him to stop. He took a second to compose himself, all the while looking at Arthur, begging him to understand. He pointed to himself and tried again. “I’m a sorcerer. I have magic. And I use it for you Arthur. Only for you.” he said his tone suddenly desperate.

Arthur though was in no mood to hear such things. “Merlin you’re not a sorcerer, I would know!” he exclaimed his voice filled with conviction.

“Look. Here.” Merlin said, suddenly tired of the conversation. Merlin realised that only by proving it would Arthur finally believe him, and be unable to deny it. He suddenly felt light headed with emotion, but he learnt over to the fire, closed his eyes, trusting in his magic, allowing it to flow through him, as he softly said.

“Upastige draca!” “he commanded, using his hands to conduct the dragon above the flames of the fire. After a few seconds he looked around at Arthur, knowing that now was the test of their friendship. Now was the time he would finally find out, just how strong and true it was. 

It only took a few seconds and Merlin could see Arthur‘s reaction, it was as clear as the day was light. He watched his friend take a breath, as he recoiled from Merlin, turning his head away from him, as if trying to put distance between them. 

“Leave me.” Arthur said his voice hard.

Merlin’s heart sank, as he looked at him, begging him to reconsider. “Arthur.” 

“No. Just, you heard.” Arthur said his face closed to Merlin. “Just….”

Merlin slowly got up, pausing just once to look back at Arthur but realising it would not do any good. He walked away, suddenly feeling totally deflated, and devoid of any feeling, like he’d been punched numb. He was forced to sit down, as his shaky legs would not hold him up any more. All he could think of was that his best friend, the man whom he’d dedicated his life too, had rejected him. He couldn’t even cry any more tears, his eyes were so sore they he could barely see from them.

He just sat there, with his feet out in front of him, and re-lived the conversation again in his mind. Had he really expected Arthur to accept him, he wondered. Had he been too naïve, in this moment. As he sat there going through it all, he wondered if it had ever meant to be at all. Yet deep down, through some conviction he knew he’d had no choice whatever the result. He knew had he not done it, he would never of been able to live with himself.

The moment Merlin had left him, Arthur felt as if he was fighting for air. He was still in shock, still not able to believe what he’d just been told. Merlin his friend, no he was way more than that, his brother, his support, the person he looked up to, even though he would never admit such a thing. Merlin a sorcerer! The sentence whirled around his mind again and again, as he tried to make sense of it.

How could it be so? He would of known, he’d been with enough sorcerers to know after all, he told himself. He knew what they were like, he’d suffered at their hands, him and his family. He closed his eyes again, the pain of his wound throbbing alongside his hurt. Right at this moment he didn’t know which hurt more, as he surveyed his and Merlin’s broken relationship. 

Why on earth would he think, I’d want to know Arthur wondered angrily. Surely he understood by now what magic and sorcerer’s represented for Arthur. The loss of his parents, the attack on Guinevere, even Arthur himself, Morgana the list was endless. Nothing good ever came from sorcery he thought to himself, in annoyance. 

As he relived the conversation with Merlin, only minutes before, what stunned him most of all was the betrayal. He had lied to him for years, and as Arthur thought about it, it was that which shocked him more than anything. As he sat there and took it all in he wondered if he’d ever be able to trust him again.

Guinevere had been back in Camelot now for two whole days. As she stood at the window, her eyes on the milling of the crowd in the court yard below, her hope was beginning to ebb and flow now. Upon getting up she would start the day with an optimistic feeling, this would be the day she told herself. The day her husband returned to her, they would continue taking Camelot forward, building the future they both dreamed off for all of their fellow citizens.

But as the day developed and still no news was forthcoming she could feel her hope ebb away like the tide along with her dreams. Around her people would try and insist there was always hope, but if that was really true, how come they’d been no news. No one had even seen Arthur since the end of the battle of Camlann, it was like he had disappeared.

Every afternoon around two o’clock Guinevere would find herself standing at the window, watching the long lines of people arriving into the court yard, she would look at everyone, not missing a thing. She would have the familiar hopeful feeling in her heart, as she waited and waited, until someone came in and told her again, that Arthur had not been seen. Then she would have to put on her Queenly mask, bury her heartbreak, and become the monarch her Kingdom expected her to be.

The longer it went on, the harder it became for her to keep up the pretence, she knew in her own mind she was losing hope, but as long as they’d heard nothing, she refused to give in entirely. As she heard the door open behind her, and suddenly Leon’s voice filled the room she prepared herself for whatever it was he was about to say. 

“Three more patrols have returned from the White Mountains, my lady.” he began. “There is no sign of him.”

Guinevere closed her eyes, “He must be somewhere.” she exclaimed.

“We have spoken to every villager, every man, woman, child. There has been no word.” Leon said gently, not knowing what else to say.

“He is alive.” she said through her tears. “I know it, I can feel it.”

“We will keep searching.” Leon assured her, which for now was all he could do.

“Who else is unaccounted for?” Guinevere asked, forcing herself back into the present.

“Gaius.” Leon said, some thing he felt guilty for, as he hadn’t checked up on him.

“He’s not been seen?” she asked yet another sadness to contend with, she wondered if it would ever end.

“Not since the battle.” Leon said and quietly closed the door.

As she remained at the window, digesting the latest news, a little ray of hope lay burning in her heart. If Gaius was around, maybe he was with Arthur, it was confirmation that she would never give up on her husband.

 

Gaius made his way through the wood, following the scent of the fire, he had picked ups some more herbs on his way to joining Merlin. But he had also walked into isolated groups of Saxons, so in the end decided go straight over to where Merlin was hiding Arthur. Using his staff to push the various bushes out of the of the way, he followed the black smoke up ahead. 

He tried to prepare himself for what he may find, especially with regards to Merlin, whom he worried was over fraught with his emotions. He could hardly blame the boy considering what had happened to him recently, but he knew it was important for him to keep it all together, now of all time, he was not quite ready for what he found.

Merlin jumped up as he saw his mentor, his mind and emotions still in a desperate state. 

“Any change?” Gaius asked.

“No.” Merlin replied in a dull tone.

“Let me see.” Gaius said, walking over to where Arthur lay, pretending to be asleep. He crouched over him, trying to check over his wound, lying the herbs on the ground.

Having noticed the absence of many herbs, Merlin was suddenly in a quandary again.

“Is that all you got?” he asked, his voice with an edge to it.

“The hills are crawling with Saxons.” Gaius said, his eyes narrowing at the emotional state of the boy. It was as Gaius had feared, it was going to be a tough challenge he thought to himself.

“There’s no yarrow, no lady’s mantle?” Merlin asked his voice rising as he spoke, his eyes still wet with his tears.

“I got comfey.” Gaius said, showing him a piece.  
“You should of got sticklewort, there must have been sticklewort.” Merlin accused.

Gaius took a deep breathe. “Merlin, why don’t you water the horses. Make sure they’re fed. We can’t stay here for much longer.” Gaius watched Merlin walk off, his face still in a daze, all of a sudden he realised just how tough the next few days were going to be.

As he looked at Arthur’s wound closely he suddenly felt Arthur’s hand on his arm, pulling at it. 

“He’s a sorcerer.” Arthur said quietly as if it was a huge secret. He looked at Gaius with fear in his eyes, fear which completely saddened Gaius. All at once he realised there was no point of lying to Arthur about knowing.

Arthur suddenly looked at Gaius, and realisation came to his face. “You knew.” he whispered as if it had all become clear.

“Arthur he is your friend.” Gaius said, trying to cut the tension.

“I want him gone.” Arthur replied lying back, his face set.

“You don’t have to fear him.” Gaius said softly, appealing to him.

“Have him take word to Camelot. To Guinevere.” Arthur said, determined to take command.

“You can’t send Merlin. I will go.” Gaius insisted.

“I need a physician right now.” Arthur said “Not a sorcerer.”

Gaius decided it was time to tell Arthur, what Merlin had not had the chance to do. It was possibly the only way he could make Arthur realise just how special Merlin was. He owed the boy that at least.

“He can do far more than me, far more than you can imagine.” Gaius explained patiently. “Arthur he doesn’t just have magic, there are those who say he is the greatest sorcerer to ever walk the earth.”

Arthur looked at Gaius for a second, a stunned look on his face, was he really talking about his clumsy servant, the greatest sorcerer?

“Merlin?” Arthur questioned, still attempting to take it all in.

“If you are to stand any chance of survival, you will need Merlin to help you, not me.” Gaius said. 

For a second Arthur looked over at Merlin, his mind still trying to take in everything he’d just been told. He knew Gaius would not exaggerate such things, but he still found it all very hard to believe. He settled back attempting to try and accept the sudden changes that had happened this evening. It had been an evening Arthur would not forget, an evening where everything in his world had just changed.


	21. A Farewell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This has an added line in it that should have been in the show, between Arthur and Gaius. It also deals with Morgana and her thoughts about Mordred and how it affects her.

Leaving Arthur to rest, Gaius went over to Merlin, who was busy stroking Gaius’s white horse. He could still read by the strained look on Merlin’s face, that he was still going through an emotional trauma. Sadness was etched on every part of him, as if he was totally lost and alone. Gaius decided setting him on the next step of the journey, would give his ward something else to think about.

“Gaius?” Merlin asked concerned, as he left the horse and came over to him.

“He has a fragment of sword embedded in his chest.” Gaius explained, keeping his voice low.

“Then we’ll use magic to draw it out.” Merlin suggested ready to prepare straight away.

“No.” Gaius said, “The blade that struck Arthur is no ordinary blade. I fear it was forged in a dragon’s breath. It’s fatal power will not be easily denied.”

Merlin took a second to digest the news. “Aithusa.” he said finally, bowing his head.

“The blade’s point is travelling inexorably towards his heart.” Gaius explained. “Not even you can hope to thwart such magic. It would take a power as ancient as the dragons themselves.”

“No. There must be something we can do Gaius.” Merlin urged his voice suddenly desperate and determined.

“Only the Sidhe possess such magic. In the midst of the Lake of Avalon there is an ancient isle. That is the source of their power. You must take him there.” Gaius said solemnly.

Looking over at Arthur Merlin whispered. “He won’t let me do that.” 

“Yes he will.” Gaius replied determined to give him some hope. “I’ve spoken to him.”

Merlin nodded still feeling as if in a dream. The news from Gaius was not exactly what he wanted to hear. But at least there was a bit of hope, for him to cling to. Now the only thing that mattered to Merlin was a chance to save his friend. Even if in doing that it cost them their special friendship.

 

The wind blew so wildly that Morganna could scaresly see in front of her, her hair blew wildly about her face, but not even that could distract her from her task. As she put the last stone on top of Mordred’s resting place upon a high hill, she took a step back. Flinging Mordred’s sword in front of the grave she proclaimed in a voice masked in tears. “The battle is not over Mordred. We shall have our revenge.”

After a few minutes reflecting she slowly made her way back to her fortress. Even now she could not wipe out the memory of when she discovered his body. He had lain on the hard ground, his face a mask of peace, but she could only roar her despair as she held him in her arms. He was the last person in her life who meant anything at all to her. 

She now had nothing left, and for a time she’d had struggled to even move. She had sat there holding him crying tears that seemed to come from depths of her soul. No one had understood the feelings she’d had for Mordred. She suspected not even Mordred himself. He alone had given her life some meaning, the past year. Given a lonely and lost person, a bit of warmth and companionship. He had reminded her of the reason she had chosen the paths she had. But now he was gone, and suddenly her life seemed both hollow and empty, she barely knew which way to go. She had sat down briefly attempting to stop her tears, so that she could think. The weather around her matched her sombre mood, cold with the first signs of darkness beginning to show. It was as though she could not see. 

But eventually the mist cleared and a thought became clearer and clearer, this was all Arthur’s fault. She would track him down and make him pay for what he’d done to her. It was now the only thing she had left to do. Life had taken everything away from her, stripped every person away who meant anything at all. The only thing she had left, was to take her revenge on her hateful enemies, and she would make them pay for what they’d brought on her all these years. 

She stood up, purpose in her step again, and began the plan to finish off Arthur and Camelot once and for all.

 

Merlin had walked over to Arthur, not really knowing what to expect. While he was grateful that Gaius had spoken to him, he already suspected the damage to their relationship was beyond repair. He found every step towards him a test of his resolve, now that the barrier of trust had been broken. Having had time to think about it, he knew that Arthur would be hurt, it was unavoidable. But what else could he have done in the circumstances, he wondered to himself desperately. 

He paused by Arthur, who was dozing, though he could have been pretending Merlin wasn’t sure.

“Arthur.” he began his voice quiet and unsure. “We need to leave at first light.”

Arthur had briefly looked his way before turning away again. “I’ll decide when we leave.”

Merlin could sense Arthur putting back up the barrier between them, but all of a sudden it hardly mattered to him. All Merlin saw in that moment was his friend, badly injured, dying, and he would of done anything to make him better, even if it cost Merlin everything. 

“I can’t let you die.” he said his voice unsteady but Merlin needed Arthur to know that, he didn’t care anymore.

“It doesn’t change anything.” Arthur said sharply.

Merlin looked at him, suddenly lost for words again, he heard Gaius come up behind him.

“Let him sleep, it’s late.” Gaius said.

Merlin walked over to his mentor his mind was still in a daze and all of a sudden he felt as if he could sleep forever.

“You cannot travel tonight.” Gaius said.

Merlin walked passed him and starred at the forest up ahead, his mind totally lost, and suddenly too tired to sleep.

“You were right to tell him.” Gaius said softly, trying to think of something to keep his spirits up. 

Merlin tried to take in Gaius’s words, but everything around him just felt like a abyss, and he sat on the ground, and within a few minutes was fast asleep.

 

Arthur tried to sleep, but the pain in his wound was now starting to bother him more. His mind was still no further clear, his heart felt torn. For the first time since Merlin’s confession he thought of Guinevere. He wondered if he’d ever see her again, he closed his eyes and tried to shut out such negative thoughts. He agonised over what she would of said, she was a good friend of Merlin, knew him even before Arthur did, he wondered if she’d had any idea. She was always so good at sorting out issues, how he could of done with her input now. 

In the meantime though he would have to rely on Merlin. Before such a thought would not of even bothered him. He would risk his own life for Merlin at the drop of a hat. It didn’t matter to him that he was a servant. In the years they spent together Merlin had become a lot more, their relationship was so close, he’d of done anything for him. Now though, the confession had changed everything. Where before, Arthur would of unquestioningly risked anything, now he wondered if he even knew him.

What sort of relationship was built on a lie he wondered? There was no other way of looking at it. Everything that Arthur had thought was true about Merlin was now, in ashes, a trick of the light. When he had to speak with him before, Arthur couldn’t help but pity the sadness of his face, but what did the boy expect? That one confession had altered everything between them, everything that was true was now in pieces. Arthur felt almost cheated by it, no matter what Gaius had said, he sadly felt as if he didn’t know the boy anymore.

Now he would have to put his trust in him, and that was something that bothered Arthur. As he surveyed the forest around him, he attempted to close his mind, and find some sleep. Maybe in the morning he would be thinking clearer. Maybe then he could try and at least come to terms with his present situation, and the broken trust between them would not still feel so acute. 

 

The fortress of Morgana Pendragon was dripping with tension. The guards barely had the courage to breathe, she was so unpredictable now. She would scream at anyone who said anything with a manic look in her eye, as if she was about to go out of her mind. Few men doubted she was about to fall into madness. But few had the courage to escape, for fear of what she would do to them. They felt trapped like a mouse caught in a trap.

She had sent Beroun her commander out with a group of men to track down Arthur, and as she sat on her throne, her whole body was writhed in tension, as she awaited their return. She had not eaten anything in two days, her hair was matted, she barely looked up from where she was sitting. She just sat, and waited, waited for the moment that she could make her move.

Suddenly the doors of the fortress swung open, and Beroun and his two men walked carefully over to her, keeping a respectful distance. She said nothing waiting for their report, but everyone in the room held their breathe, as Beroun prepared to speak.

The three men bowed, though Morgana did not lift her head to see it.

“My lady, we’ve searched every valley, every gorge, every gully. The King is nowhere to be found.” Beroun announced taking a nervous gulp as he said it.

Suddenly her voice screamed out taking everyone by surprise and making everyone jump.

“I want him dead!” her face looked manic as she faced the three men, devoid of any emotion. Suddenly her eyes turned glowed and one of the men, fell to the ground dead.

“We’ve looked.” Beroun tried to say.

“Find him.” Morgana commanded.

The last two remaining Saxons bowed again, and departed. The tension stayed in the room for a long time after they left, as Morgana continued to wait for the time that she could strike back at her brother and end his reign.

 

It was early in the morning and Merlin helped Arthur onto his horse. The King by now looked totally exhausted as he struggled to get his feet into the stirrups of the stationery horse. As Arthur got comfortable he took a necklace off his neck. Merlin walked away from Arthur.

“Gaius.” he called. 

Gaius arrived by his side, looking up at him.

“Give this to Guinevere.” Arthur said handing him the necklace to him.

Gaius looked up at him in surprise, as he saw what it was. “It’s the Royal Seal sire.”

“If I am to die, I can think of no one whom I’d rather succeed me.” Arthur said, before pausing. “Tell her I love her, and will always do so.”

Gaius closed his hand round the seal and nodded.

Merlin came over to Gaius. “You know I was betrayed. The girl Eira cannot be trusted.” he said, before saying quietly. “How long as he got?”

“Two days at the most.” Gaius whispered back.

Merlin walked back over to Arthur. Suddenly Gaius realised he hadn’t said goodbye. All of a sudden he felt a need to do so, as if he was a parent losing his child for the last time.

“Merlin.” he called. 

Merlin turned back and absentmindedly hugged Gaius, although in truth Merlin’s mind was already on the journey ahead.

“I’ll have your favourite meal awaiting you.” Gaius promised him as he let him go. “Now go, look after him.”

Gaius stood back and watched them leave, getting an uncomfortable feeling he wouldn’t see either of them again. Arthur looked up from his horse, and looked Gaius in the face, for once no words were necessary, the look said it all. As Gaius continued to watch their figures become more distant Merlin turned around and gave him one more look. Gaius stayed watching the retreating figures until they had disappeared from view. Now he had to return to Camelot, he realised that a new reign could be about to start.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To Gwen's relief Gaius has made it safely back to Camelot. In light of what Gaius tells her, Gwen hatches a plan. 
> 
> As their journey towards Avalon continues Arthur reconsider's Merlin in light of what he's so far learnt. Merlin meanwhile remains focused on getting Arthur to Avalon safely.

Guinevere had spent a restless morning going through some paper work she had left, since returning from Camlann. It all seemed very trivial to her as she finished the letter she had completed. But some how life had to go on between all the waiting for news. As she signed the letter, her mind went through the latest reports she’d received, that had indicated that Arthur, Merlin and Gaius were still missing.

A lot had happened between her leaving Camlann and being in Camelot, and yet outside the news of Arthur was as quiet as ever. No one had seen her husband. She was aware that after a battle people could be separated and lost. But she found it hard to believe that a King could just disappear from view. 

She still felt him to be alive, a little candle of hope was still burning deep inside her. She always felt in her own mind, that had he been dead, she would have known about it. Yet as report after report confirmed no news, at times she had to admit doubt stole into her heart. Yet once she overcame the feeling, the ray of hope continued to burn. He was alive she was certain about that. The fact that Merlin and Gaius were missing too, made her think it even more strongly.

She was at the window again in the afternoon, looking out like she always did, when suddenly she saw Gaius galloping into the court yard. At first she though she was seeing things, as if her mind was playing tricks. But as she looked again, there was no mistaking Gaius dismounting his horse. She rushed out, holding her dress as she ran going down the corridor. She could already see Gwaine talking with Gaius.

“Gaius.” she called, reaching him breathless.

“My lady.” Gaius bowed. 

“Tell me.” Guinevere begged him.

“He’s alive.” Gaius confirmed.

Guinevere gave a cry of relief, she’d been right she thought, her feelings had not been mistaken. But suddenly her thoughts turned to other things, as she followed the conversation between Gwaine and Gaius. 

“Then why isn’t he with you?” Gwaine asked him a puzzled look on his face.

“He’s wounded.” Gaius said, he then held out the Royal Seal to Guinevere. “He wanted me to give you this my lady.“ he finished.

Guinevere took it, but suddenly everything became less clear, she fingered the Seal and asked with a voice full of tears, everything becoming too much for her.

“Where is he?” she asked. She kept touching the Seal, as if it was Arthur himself.

“There is a place where he may be saved.” Gaius explained. “Merlin is taking him there as we speak.”

Suddenly Guinevere jumped into action relieved she could do something. Turning to Gwaine she said. “Well then we must send some Knights.”

Gwaine nodded ready to leave immediately, but Gaius’s voice stopped him.

“ No, Merlin can cope by himself.” he tried to assure her.

“Merlin?” Guinevere said her voice having a touch of disbelief to it. What was Gaius talking about she wondered desperately. No one can manage entirely on their own, she wondered why he was so reluctant to let her help.

“You must trust him.” Gaius said, his voice sounding harsher than he intended.

But by now Guinevere was desperate and she no longer understood what was going on. “How can one man be stronger than an army?” she asked. She had a feeling Gaius was holding something back, but if he wasn’t prepared to say what, how could he expect her to understand she wondered to herself. 

There was a pause before Gaius said, “Morgana’s army are still searching for Arthur. Two men travelling alone stand a far better chance of evading her. Especially if they have no idea where she is heading.” he explained.

Gaius glanced at Gwaine, he stood there still looking unsure. Guinevere looked from one to the other, still not quite understanding what Gaius meant. 

 

Gwaine stood waiting for Eira to join him. He was still stunned by what Gaius had told him, that the woman he was beginning to love, was in fact a traitor. At first he had tried to deny it to himself. If wasn’t true, there was an innocent explanation to it all, he had told himself. 

But as he sat and thought about it, it suddenly made sense. She was the only survivor at the fight at Stowell, the only person to actually survive a massacre. The only person whom he’d told about escorting Merlin to the Valley of the Fallen Kings, was Eira. As he connected the events together, it was something even Gwaine could not deny to himself. All at once he was now having to play a part, in order to trap her. He did not like the idea, but he felt as though he had no real choice.

He continued to stare out of the window, suddenly Eira’s voice broke into his thoughts.

“Hey, what is this.” she asked her voice full of concern. “Tell me.”

“Can’t.” Gwaine said, trying to stop his tears. He could smell her scent behind him. 

“Why not?” she asked him quickly. “Is it the King? What’s happened to him?” 

Gwaine could not help but notice how quick she was to put the possibility together. It finally confirmed to him in his own mind, the truth of her treachery.

“Gwaine?” she continued to speak to him, her voice suddenly louder. “Is he dead?”

“No.” Gwaine answered finally, ready to lay the trap.

“How do you know. Where is he? Gwaine?” she continued harassing him. “Don’t you trust me?” 

Gwaine finally turned around to face her, looking her straight in the eye. “I do.”

“Then tell me.” she urged him.

He did, and the trap was finally laid.

 

Merlin and Arthur were now coming across some plains. The journey had so far been uneventful. It had been pretty quiet between them, there was still an edge there, a tension that refused to go away. Merlin felt it in every look he got from Arthur, in every thing he did for him. 

He realised now just how difficult it was all going to be. As he led the horses across the grass, he thought back to only last week. Back then they had been as close as brothers, there was nothing either of them would not have done for each other. But a lot since then had happened, one confession had completely changed everything in their world. As Merlin led Arthur’s horse, he suddenly felt a very lonely man. It was a different loneliness to the one he was use to feeling. That by now had felt like a second skin, one that he’d been wearing since his youth. 

The one thing that had kept him going through that, had been the thought that one day Arthur would know the truth. But the way it had come out, had suddenly meant that what he hoped would have been a release for him, merely became a new prison for him to endure. As he replayed it in his mind, he knew there was no going back for either of them. As he had said to Gaius what seemed like ages ago, the die had been cast.

A movement in the distance interrupted his thoughts. As he took a better look he could see two figures on horses, coming towards them. He dismounted and untied his blanket from his horse.

“Saxons.” he said, covering Arthur with the blanket making sure his armour was completely covered up. “I’ll deal with them, keep your head down. Don’t speak.” He came away from Arthur’s horse, starring in the distance on the wood below them, his eyes glowed, and a fire started up.

“Help us.” Merlin called to them. “We were ambushed.” he explained.

The Saxons dismounted and walked over to him. 

“By whom?” Beroun asked some how suspicious.

“Two men!” Merlin exclaimed trying to sound worried 

As Beroun came towards him, he studied him closely. “What did they look like?”

“Um..one was a… Knight.” Merlin glanced over his shoulder, suddenly realising that Excalibur was visible. “They stormed our camp.” he continued pointing at the fire. 

The two Saxons went over and looked at the fire, Merlin quickly went to Arthur’s horse and tucked the sword under the blanket.

“You’re sure it was a Camelot Knight?” Beroun asked.

Merlin nodded. “Yeah.” he said.

The Saxons came back towards Merlin pushing him back. Beroun went over to Arthur’s horse and pulled the blanket up exposing the top of Excalibur.

Suddenly Merlin put his hands in front of him, his eyes glowing, and before they knew what was happening the Saxons where on the ground dead.

As Arthur watched from his horse all he could say was. “You lied to me all this time.” his voice was emotionless and hard. 

All Merlin could do for an answer was stare ahead, there was nothing else he could say, he closed his eyes for a second, before pulling the horses onward onto their journey.

 

As Merlin pulled the horses onwards, it gave Arthur much time to ponder what he’d seen.   
He was stunned by the show of power that Merlin had just unleashed. But again it raised even more questions, he felt almost in awe of it. For a second he wondered just how much power Merlin actually possessed. All of a sudden it occurred to him, that this was almost like meeting Merlin all over again. The person whom he thought he knew, did not exist, and he wondered if he would ever be able get use to that.

He thought back to the skinny boy he had met those few years ago, in the market place. He must have had his power then, he thought. So why didn’t he use it he wondered? Merlin could hardly of been more awkward with the mace that he’d been given. His lanky legs had spent most of their time tripping him up. Arthur had almost laughed at the spectacle. The boy had no natural timing whatsoever. 

But as Arthur relived what he’d just seen he realised that Merlin had hardly needed it. He possessed something else entirely. A power so great, that the greatest fighter in the land could not overcome him. He thought back to all their quests together, he should have known there was a reason he never showed any fear, not true fear. Arthur teased him, but he was never fooled for a minute, as to how brave he had thought Merlin was, still accompanying Arthur on all his adventures, despite possessing no fighting skills.

Suddenly though it all became clear why he was not really scared, for surely he had the mightiest power. Yet not for one minute had Arthur any reason of fearing him, and strangely even now, despite what he’d seen, he was not frightened. In awe yes, but not scared, because Merlin had never abused his power in all their time together. Yet he supposed he could have done at any time. Arthur closed his eyes, so many questions were racing through his mind. He suddenly had a fancy to ask him, all sorts of questions, but before he had the chance he fell asleep. 

 

They had made good time, and with night falling, Merlin had found a clearing to stop in the forest. He had helped Arthur off his horse, and rested him against a tree. He then began to unload the horses, and had collected some firewood to make a fire. 

Having put the firewood down in a heap, he begun to try and light the fire using flints. All of a sudden tiredness had made him clumsy. He sighed wondering if he’d ever manage to light it. 

“Why don’t you use magic?” Arthur asked.

“Habit I suppose.” Merlin murmured. For a second not sure if he had heard right, Merlin turned to him.

Arthur nodded his head.

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold, and the fire was instantly lit. “It feels strange.”

“Yeah.” Arthur agreed.  
Merlin continued to empty the bags.

“I thought I knew you.” Arthur said, watching him closely.

Merlin got the blanket out. “I’m still the same person.” he insisted. Although in his mind he wondered if he really was.

“I trusted you.” Arthur said, his eyes following Merlin around.

“I’m sorry.” Merlin said, not knowing what else to say.

“I‘m sorry too.” Arthur agreed. 

Merlin walked over to Arthur and began to take his boots off. He suddenly needed to keep busy, all the questions were suddenly making him feel tense.

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked irritably. 

“Taking your boots off, they need drying.” Merlin said, putting the boots by the fire. 

All of a sudden he felt tired, the whole day had passed by so quickly, he was no longer even aware of what day it was. He got his blanket on to the ground, and lay down, a little way away from Arthur. Catching a glance at him, he could see Arthur’s body breathing in and out. Merlin relaxed, suddenly happy to be on his own.

He wondered if Arthur would ever really understand him. He was pleased that he was at least speaking to him now. Nothing was worse than the silence that had occurred when they had first left Gaius. But now with all the little questions that he was being bombarded with, each seemed to have a little edge to them. As if Arthur still wasn’t ready to truly understand. As he considered everything that had happened in the last day or so, Merlin wondered if he ever would be. 

Arthur was a man who’d been brought up to believe that magic was an evil. He’d lost both his parents to it, watched his sister become an enemy through it, maybe expecting him to understand was too much. Yet he had always felt that they had a special bond, that would overcome most things, even this. As his eyes began to close, he hoped that by tomorrow maybe things would be different, and they would reach a new understanding.


	23. A Puzzle is Solved

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Camelot Eira is caught in a trap and Gwen has a decision to make. She also manages to put together something that has puzzled her for a long time. But is she right, only Gaius can confirm it.
> 
> Arthur continues to struggle with how his and Merlin's relationship has changed in his eyes. Also why Merlin continues to behave as if nothing has happened.

Darkness was beginning to take over the Citadel, as Eira walked towards the window, shadows followed in her midst. She carefully put the basket down, making sure she checked up and down the corridor first, before releasing the bird. Seeing nobody she bent forward and opened the window.

Reaching down into the basket she lifted out the cooing bird. She watched it fly through the window, but suddenly became aware that she was not alone. Turning quickly she saw the familiar form of Gwaine, gazing at her.

As she stared at him, all at once her mind was in a whirl, she suddenly could think of nothing to say.

“Eira.” Gwaine said.

“I was just…” she began her words sounding rushed.

“Sending word to Morgana?” Gwaine said the sentence he knew that she would not, his face looking disappointed.

“No!” Eira exclaimed

Guinevevere arrived out of nowhere, a steely look on her face she regarded Eira sternly.

“My lady. I would not do that.” she said trying to sound sincere. “I would not betray you or the King.”

Guinevere had suddenly heard enough. “You didn’t, you can go to your death safe in that knowledge. Your note will send your mistress riding for Brineved, and all the while the King will be riding in the opposite direction. Guards!” she shouted.

Two guards arrived and they both took a hold of Eira‘s arms, pulling her towards the cells.

She tried to fight the guards, looking back at Gwaine as she did so.“Gwaine, Gwaine, please.” Eira shouted.

Gwaine did not hear a thing, he remained standing on the spot, blocking out Eira’s screams. He was suddenly tired, he had played his part and now he just felt empty and hollow. It seemed as if everything had caught up with him in the same moment.

Guinevere, touched his shoulder gently, understanding in that moment just how difficult it had been for Gwaine. They were all jaded, the Kingdom was on the edge, and no one really knew what would happen next.

“Thank you Gwaine.” Guinevere said softly. “I know it wasn’t easy.”

“She betrayed the King.” he answered solemnly. 

Guinevere nodded and walked away leaving Gwaine reflecting for a second. He wondered if what he’d said was so true, why was it still hurting him so much? He sighed and walked back to his room, both perturbed and sad. 

 

It was early morning, and Merlin was mixing some of the potion that Gaius had left him. Arthur was still sleeping, he seemed to have rested fitfully, which was more than Merlin had. His mind would not let him rest at the moment, he had too many unanswered questions whizzing around his head. 

Merlin still was not quite sure what to make of their exchange last night. The fact that Arthur had allowed him to use magic, in front of him, had left him totally uncertain at what to feel. He hoped that it was a good thing, but at the same time, he could still hear mistrust in Arthur’s voice. But at least he had allowed him to use it, and for now that gave Merlin a positive feeling.

He took a quick bite to eat, watching Arthur carefully for any movement. The wound was getting worse, he knew that by the way Arthur was taking longer to do anything, and by the fact that he would sleep for longer. He regretted that his friend would not have enough time to rest, he knew this would be a real strain on Arthur’s state, both mentally and physically. Not that Arthur himself would ever complain. It was something that always made Merlin respect him for, his ability to put pain to one side, and carry on.

Merlin just wished that they were nearer to Avalon. He knew it was another day’s journey at least, and he could not forget Gaius’s warning that Arthur may only last two more days, they‘d already had one of those. He knew they were against the clock as much as anything. 

Suddenly Arthur came too, Merlin went over to him, relieved that they could hopefully soon leave. He brought the potion over to Arthur sitting by him, trying to keep the mood light.

“This will be good for you.” Merlin smiled. “You need to eat.” 

But Arthur pushed the spoon back into the carton. “Why are you doing this?” he asked his voice back with an edge to it. “Why are you still behaving like a servant?”

Merlin set the bowl down, and decided he would tell him the full truth, he had nothing left to lose now; and maybe then he would actually understand him much better.

“It’s my destiny.” Merlin explained softly. “As it was since the day that we met.”

“I tried to take your head off with a mace.” Arthur said, smiling at the memory.

“Yes and I stopped you.” Merlin replied grinning “Using magic.”

“You cheated!” Arthur said sounding suddenly outraged.

“You were going to kill me.” Merlin pointed out still smiling.

“I should of done.” Arthur said, sitting back for a moment.

“I’m glad you didn’t.” Merlin replied, after a pause he said. “I do this because of who you are.”

Arthur looked at Merlin for a second, a curious look on his face.

“Without you, Camelot’s nothing.” Merlin said.

“There was a time when that was true, not now.” Arthur said. “There are many who can fill the crown.” For a moment he thought of Guinevevere back in Camelot all alone.

“There will never be another one like you Arthur.” Merlin said, “Now I also do this because you’re my friend and I don’t want to lose you.” Merlin supported Arthur’s head on his knee, and finally managed to persuade his friend to eat. 

For a second their two eyes met, and it was as thought nothing more needed to be said. Merlin began to feel elated, as if something had been achieved. It was as if the first step had been taken, surely by now Arthur would understand that Merlin only did things for him, that he was no threat to him. That the thing that mattered most to Merlin, was their friendship, he had forsaken his magic even, to stay by Arthur’s side. What more could he do to prove to Arthur just what he meant to him?

Arthur sat there watching Merlin tidy things away. All of a sudden he felt as if he was seeing Merlin through new eyes, and yet the strange thing was Merlin hadn’t really changed at all. He was still the same loyal and supportive friend he had come to rely on through the years. The same friend who would be at his side when he faced all kinds of different foes.

When Merlin had talked about his destiny, it had suddenly opened Arthur’s eyes to so much, of what he recognised about his friend. The number of times Merlin would put himself last, even to the detriment of himself sometimes. There were times Arthur knew when he could of treated Merlin with more respect and well gratefulness. The fact that he hadn’t always done that had made him suddenly wonder, why Merlin had stayed with him at all. It made Arthur suddenly feel humble. 

The thing that he couldn’t understand was what made him seem so special to Merlin? Throughout his life thanks to the expectations landed on him from an early age, Arthur was forever questioning himself, as to whether he was good enough. Who was there by his side, to pick up the pieces? Merlin of course. Who was the one who always believed in him, even when he doubted himself. Merlin. Just as he was now. He realised he had underrated his friend considerably over the years. 

As Merlin came over and helped him back onto the horse, Arthur decided that now was the time for him, to attempt to get to know his friend truthfully. It maybe the last chance he would get to do so, as his horse slowly followed Merlin's, he began to see him through very different eyes.

 

Eira’s execution had been set for later in the day, Guinevere realised she had little choice other than to carry it out. The Lords would be watching every step she made now, and any deviation would only make them think she was a weak leader.

But for now she had more pressing matters on her hands. She was awaiting Gaius to join her in the throne room. She knew Gaius would be his usual slippery self, but she was determined that she would finally put this mystery to bed. As she watched the sun through the windows she felt suddenly elated despite still hearing no word from Arthur. At long last she had, she thought worked it all out. All she needed was the confirmation from Gaius, and today she decided she would get it.

It was after Gaius had first arrived back, the pieces had begun to fit. He had turned down her suggestion of sending Knights to guide Merlin and Arthur to Avalon. She had exploded at the time, her emotional fragility had got the better of her, she wasn’t especially proud of herself, but she had reached the limit of her endurance.

For the life of her she could not understand how one man could possibly take care of Arthur. 

Suppose Morgana’s army had caught up, what then, how would Merlin of been able to cope on his own? She had fretted about it that afternoon, despite the plan that was put into operation about tricking Morgana. But that night it suddenly all came to her. It was so straight forward she marvelled at why it had taken her so long to work it all out.

She had always known, from their first meeting together that something stood out about Merlin. It was nothing obvious and yet, the more she got to know him the more positive she became. He was never a fighting man, and yet he would never shirk from a challenge physical or not. As she watched Merlin and Arthur become inseparable over the years, the feeling she had only increased.

She watched them go on their numerous quests and adventures, and Merlin would always go along. He had no fighting skills, and yet something about him at Arthur’s side made Guinevere feel reassured. Her and Merlin became good friends as Arthur began his path to becoming King. 

Merlin was the only person she truly trusted as her and Arthur grew closer in their relationship. He was their true supporter, as he kept both going while their rocky romance, would ebb and flow. 

But it was as she became Queen of Camelot that she could truly watch the friendship between her husband and friend more closely. She could see how deep it went, there was a bond that could not be denied. There would be some who may have been threatened by that, but not Guinevere. How could she be when it was Merlin? She knew more than anyone that he would do anything in his power to protect Arthur. Yet at the same time she often questioned what it was that made her feel so safe, in the first place? 

After all in a way, it made no sense that she could relay on him to bring Arthur home safely when he couldn’t even fight for himself. If he couldn’t defend himself, how could he defend Arthur? Yet she did trust him, to bring him home each time. What was it about Merlin that made that possible? 

But it was at Camlann, when she began to put it all together. She knew there had to be a reason that Merlin was absent that one time. It had upset Arthur, but as she had spoken to Gaius, he had confirmed to her that there was a good reason for him not to be there. She knew that would be the case, for she more than anyone knew how devoted Merlin was to Arthur. She had watched it day after day in the palace, outside. Where Arthur went, so did Merlin. 

It was when Gaius was watching the old sorcerer at the battle that Guinevere had started to wonder. There was something in the way Gaius had spoken about him with such pride, that had interested Guinevere. It went way beyond respect, there was an almost parental love in the way he looked at the figure throwing lightning all around them. She knew instantly that Gaius knew the man, and if she was not mistaken knew him well. 

But as she got back to Camelot, forced to play the waiting game she had all but forgotten her only thoughts were for her absent husband. Having been told that Merlin was taking Arthur to this place to be healed, she had no choice but to wait. Suddenly Camlann came back in Guinevere’s mind again. For surely Merlin had to have been the sorcerer. There was no other explanation. The fact that Gaius was so sure that Merlin could manage on his own, if he had magic, why would he have to fear anyone? She smiled to herself.

Magic had scared her at one time, her family had been victims of it, she herself. Yet she reasoned how could she be scared of Merlin? He was her friend, as he was Arthur’s. He had brought him home many a time, and never had he threatened anyone with it. She knew she could trust him. She could hear Gaius’s footsteps enter the throne room, so now she would find out if she was right or not.

“You want to speak to me my lady?” Gaius asked with a bow.

“I want to thank you Gaius.” she said, feeling suddenly quite emotional.

“What for?” Gaius asked obviously surprised.

“For unmasking Eira.” she explained. “I will be forever in your debt, and Merlin’s. Was it he who found Arthur?” 

“Yes.” Gaius confirmed.

“He has always been there at Arthur’s side.” she remarked.

“Indeed.” Gaius agreed.

Guinevere moved across the room, so that she was suddenly only a few feet away from Gaius. She was determined that he would answer her face to face.

“The sorcerer at the battle.” she started off. “You knew who he was.”

“Yes.” Gaius agreed.

Guinevere smiled at the fact that Gaius was doing his usual of only using one word answers. It was something he would do when he wanted to be evasive, she would not be fooled though today.

“Do I know him?” Guinevere asked.

Gaius paused, suddenly unsure what to do.

“Please Gaius answer me honestly.” Guinevere said with determination.

“Yes.” Gaius confirmed after a pause. “He will take great care of Arthur.”

Suddenly tears formed in Guinevere’s eyes. “I’m sure he will. I’m pleased.” she smiled.

Gaius bowed and slowly shuffled out of the room. Guinevere turned and looked out of the window, a warm glow inside her. She was glad that if her husband had to go through this, he would have his friend there by his side as always.She knew Merlin would bring him home. She was determined when they came home, that it would be the start of a new Camelot. For now that would keep her going in every thing that lay ahead.


	24. The Trail of Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Camelot Gwen is forced to carry out a duty she has no enthusiasm for but knows the Lords are watching her every move. Gwaine watches the scene with a heavy heart, but then an idea comes into his mind. 
> 
> Arthur asks Merlin a question he is curious about, but as ever is surprised by his friend's answer.
> 
> Morgana is soon on the trail of the two Camelot Knights.

Morgana waited impatiently to hear from her spy in Camelot, as to Arthur’s whereabouts. The trail had gone cold for a couple of days, and by now she was getting desperate for news. She stalked around in her fortress, snapping at guards, the fact that Beroun had not come back, was further proof that Arthur was still alive, and as far as Morgana was concerned that was something she was not prepared to tolerate. 

She was with two of her guards when suddenly a squawking could be heard. Morgana went straight over to the window and took the message from the bird. Impatiently unwrapping the paper, she read, “Arthur is headed for Brineved.”

She threw the note on the floor commanding that four of her guards accompany her there. Before long they had left their horses running through the windy and rainy weather. Morgana had only one thought in her head and that was to destroy Arthur. Then she could takeover Camelot and the Kingdom would be hers.

 

In the court yard at Camelot the Knights were standing around waiting for the arrival of Eira. Up on the balcony Guinevere, stood by herself feeling tense as she waited to give the signal. It was the first time she had performed an execution, and she doubted she would ever become use to it. But it was something she knew she had to do, if she was to prove herself to the Lords, some of whom appeared to be waiting to witness any weakness, by her. 

At two o’clock sharp, Eira was escorted between two guards, and brought out towards the small platform. The executioner, bound her hands behind her, and then he took hold of the noose and fitted it around Eira’s neck. All of a sudden Eira seemed defiant in her attitude, her face sorting Guinevere’s and never leaving it. Guinevere, fought her own private battle, as she remained looking at the woman below. It had almost became a battle of wills between them, as to who would look away first. 

In the end neither of them faltered, as Guinevere gave the order, the executioner performed the execution swiftly and without fuss. A deathly silence overtook the court yard.

 

Watching from the window Gwaine had little emotion in truth, he had put Eira to the back of his mind. She had not been what he’d thought she was, as she hung there in the noose he felt Percival’s hand on his shoulder, his fellow Knight showing his support. 

“You know what you’d said you’d do if you ever found Morgana?” Gwaine asked his friend. “Well we’ve got a good idea in which direction she’s heading.” 

Remembering the death of his family, Percival needed no second invitation. They would not be missed this afternoon, and it was too good an opportunity to turn down. They both knew Camelot would have a much better chance of surviving without Morgana Pendragon still being around.

They took their horses from the stables, and thundered off towards Brineved. The journey would take much of the afternoon, as it was a fair way but neither of them were prepared to let that discourage them, as they rode on through the forest.

 

Merlin and Arthur had taken a quick break. Merlin had left Arthur sitting on lower branch of a tree. As Merlin busied himself putting some potions into his bag, he noticed out of the corner of his eye, Arthur’s head slipping down, as if he was about to collapse. 

Merlin ran over to him, encouraging Arthur to lift his head.

“Arthur you need to hold on. One more day.” Merlin gently wiped his head with a cloth, as he gave him a drink out of the water skin.

“Why did you never tell me?” Arthur asked after taking a drink.

“ I wanted to but…” Merlin began. How on earth could he ever explain to Arthur what it had been like.

“What?” Arthur asked really wanting to understand why.

“You’d of chopped my head off.” Merlin said a bit of humour in his voice. Merlin gave him another drink.

“I’m not sure what I’d of done.” Arthur admitted, trying to think it through rationally.

After a pause Merlin explained further. “And I didn’t want to put you in that position.”

Arthur stared at Merlin a surprised look on his face, as he studied the younger man.

“That’s what worried you?” Arthur asked struggling to understand Merlin’s logic.

Merlin sat down closer to him, so he could see his face, as he wanted Arthur to really understand his reasons. 

“Some men are born to plough fields, some live to become great physicians, others to become great Kings. Me, I was born to serve you Arthur. And I’m proud of that. I wouldn’t change it for the world.” After a pause Merlin asked “Ready?” 

Arthur nodded, and allowed himself to be helped back onto his horse. He had Merlin’s last words still ringing in his ears. He still couldn’t quite understand the boy’s reasons. He was so powerful and yet all he wanted was to serve Arthur. How could a man with that much power, want something so, his head struggled for the correct word, he was now having to fighting the need to sleep constantly. Something so simple as serving a King. Merlin could of done what he’d wanted with his abilities but instead he chose to almost forsake them and stay by Arthur’s side. For Arthur it was a lot to take in and accept.

Yet as he struggled to get to know the true Merlin, his awe continued to increase. He tried to imagine himself in the position that Merlin had found himself. Could he of managed to serve a man, whose state would have had you dead? Arthur knew he would of struggled, yet not only did Merlin manage that, but he did it with no regret and would of seemingly of done it all over again. He realised in that moment just how much he had underestimated his friend. 

The other thing that bothered Arthur, when he thought back to their times together, was that far from treating him as an equal, he sometimes acted as if Merlin was a nobody. Well he was now discovering just how far from the truth that was. Yet not for one moment had Merlin complained about it or moaned about it. It hit Arthur in the heart, as he thought about it, he just knew he had to somehow put that right, in the time he had left.

If only he could control the pain he thought to himself, but he was a proud man and would not cry out. Following his friend’s example he merely continued to follow him, they would get there soon, and when they did, he would show his gratefulness, and put a wrong, right.

 

Gwaine and Percival were hiding behind a tree, in a wood as they watched Morgana and four of her men walk passed them. They had the advantage of some height, so could trace where they were going to for quite a distance. They could hear the High Priestess, as she shouted commands at her men, to wait for Arthur’s arrival.

Waiting for the men to get into their positions they finally crept after them. Percival reaching the first man, and coming up behind him, his arms suffocating the life out of the man, until he fell to the ground. Gwaine had come up to another man, whom he’d caught by surprise one stroke from his sword and the he too fell onto the ground.

Suddenly the two other guards came across Percival and both charged at him, Percival parried one off, and managed to finish off the other one quickly. Just as he was beginning to finish off the other man, Gwaine ran into him, and did the job for him. So far so good, now there was just Morgana to deal with. 

Percival climbed up a little path, intending to come up behind her. Gwaine boldly followed where she was walking, making sure that she heard him, by hitting his sword.

Morgana turned round quickly, but smiled as she saw Gwaine standing there, feeling no fear she walked over to him, only to suddenly be hit by a sharp pain in her side. She realised she had been stabbed, but she instantly unleashed her magic, and suddenly both Percival and Gwaine were flying in the air, both hitting the ground unconscious with a sickening thud.

Gwaine had no idea how long he was out for, but as he came around, and tried to make sense of his surroundings, a sneering voice cut across his thoughts.

“Did you really think you could outwit me?” Morgana asked him, her face a glaring.

Gwaine began to struggled but suddenly realised that his arms were tied up, all at once he realised he was at her mercy. He just hoped it would be quick.

 

Merlin and Arthur’s journey had continued with very little to disturb them. They were coming to the outskirts of the forest now. The trees became more spaced out, it was suddenly a bit lighter. Merlin was quite happy with their progress today, Arthur for the most part had kept awake and was able to stay riding. Although they were still a bit slow for Merlin’s liking, he knew they would have to bare that.

Suddenly Merlin could see smoke up ahead, he guessed they would be Saxons, not wanting to run into them, he held his hand up, Arthur stopped his horse behind him.

“Saxons?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked through the trees using his magic, to scythe a path up ahead, after a few minutes he could tell they had already left.

“They’re long gone.” he said with relief.

Arthur looked at him curiously. “How can you tell?” he asked.

“I can see the path ahead.” Merlin said trying to explain it simply.

“So you’re not an idiot then?” Arthur said with a grimace. “That was another lie.” 

Merlin turned around. “No that’s just another part of my charm. “ he said with a grin.

They continued on, with a bit more speed, Merlin feeling a bit relaxed, feeling they were now inching nearer. He felt with a bit luck they could reach Avalon by evening. He still felt quite tense, but he sensed that Arthur was coming round to understanding him a bit more, even if he would never be able to understand everything about him. 

As he rethought some of the conversations they’d had, he couldn’t help but smile. He knew there was still much for Arthur to actually accept about him. But already he sensed an almost curious air about Arthur’s latest questions. It seemed as if the anger had gone, which had been replaced by someone who actually wanted to learn more about him. All of a sudden Merlin felt a glimmer of hope, the sooner they got to Avalon the better.

 

Gwaine felt as if he was coming through a mist, as he slowly came around. He attempted to open his weary eyes, but felt a hard pull around his writs. He had been in enough scrapes to know he was in trouble. He could feel the rope biting into his wrists, feeling more painful the more he moved. Just as he started to look around a voice broke into his conscious.

“Tell me where the King is.” Morgana demanded of him, her obsessive eyes boring into his.

“I’d rather die.” Gwaine replied determined to keep any fear he was feeling at a minimum.

“Then you shall have your wish, once you’ve told me.” Morgana said.

She went down on her knees in front of the Knight, for the first time Gwaine noticed she had a big brown box in her hands. Making sure she had his complete attention she opened the lid, as it slipped opened a black snake appeared out of it. 

Gwaine instinctively struggled from her, wanting to put distance between him and the creature.

“Not even you Sir Knight.” Morgana said a smirk on her mad face, “Can resist the charms of a Nathair.”

Morgana moved the box closer to Gwaine forcing him to confront the creature eyeball to eyeball as the snake glared and hissed at him. Gwaine tried again to losen the ropes around his bound wrists. All he could feel were the ropes digging into him, making him want to scream out in frustration. 

Gwaine knew he would have show courage in the next few minutes, but he was a Knight of Camelot. Becoming a Knight had been his proudest achievement in his life. He would not let Arthur down, he would face whatever horror awaited him with bravery and honour which befitted a Knight such as he.

As he fixed Morgana with another defiant stare, he could feel a power of determination overcome him, he stuck his he head out willing her to try and break him. If he was to die now he would do so with no regret.

He heard her ask the question again, he remained silent. All of a sudden he felt a huge, terrifying pain ripping through his body. The feeling of agony totally winded him so much, that he barely knew where he was for a second. All he was aware of was a loud piercing scream, echoing around the wood. It was only when he took a quick breath that he realised the scream had come from him. 

She repeated the question on and on, he fought against her voice praying to himself that he showed no weakness. But he had never known pain like this, it was excruciating. Oh please god he thought help me, he though and mercifully he suddenly lost consciousness.


	25. Magic Tricks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Percival and Gwaine count the cost of their folly.
> 
> Onwards to their journey to Avalon, Arthur allows his mind to open as he becomes aware of just what Merlin can do. He continues to be impressed by the man he suddenly see's in his friend. But he also begins to realize just how much he owes him.

Where was he Percival wondered to himself? He felt as if he’d been in a deep, deep sleep. Something had awoken him, but in his drowsy state he wasn’t sure he knew what. As he slowly came too it was then that he realised, he had not been asleep but knocked out. As his eyes functioned properly he looked up to see his hands had been tied between two trees. Suddenly he became aware of the intense pain his wrists were in. But then another terrifying thought occured, where was Gwaine?

Suddenly he got the answer as a horrible earth shattering scream rang out over the forest. That noise was his dear friend, the man with whom he had developed a deep bond with, over the last few years. His eyes felt as if they were on saucers as he heard the depth of Gwaine’s agony. What was that witch doing to him? She had already taken Percival’s family from him, she was not going to take his friend as well. 

He took a deep breath, and began to pull with all his might, the effort came tumbling out of his mouth and silenced the forest around him. All the time a sense of desperateness that he would not be too late, please god he thought, he had to be on time. He could feel the ropes beginning to slacken around his wrists. He felt one more effort would bring the ropes down.

He closed his eyes and gave out another mighty yell, as he did so the ropes finally broke and he fell on to the ground below him with a thud. As he gathered his senses he heard a cry once more, suddenly his determination knew no bounds, he followed the direction of the noise and hope he would be in time.

 

They had made good progress, Merlin could feel that the place of their salvation was ever nearer. He checked over his should as to Arthur’s state, he was still on the horse, but badly unstable at times. Merlin could sense Arthur’s strength was slowly disappearing, but he refused to think that they would not make it to Avalon in time. Come hell or high water Merlin would get him there, he could not contemplate any other option. 

The sun was beginning to disappear from the sky, Merlin began to consider a place to perhaps stop for a while. Just as he was considering it he heard voices up ahead of them, Saxons on horse back, and they were heading straight for them. Merlin stopped putting his hand up as he did so. Looking to his left he saw a little clearing they could hide in.

“In there.” he pointed. He watched Arthur encourage his horse to follow Merlin. Merlin jumped from his horse, tying them up. He helped Arthur down off his horse and wedged him against a tree, and motioned him to be quiet. 

Merlin could see the riders there were two of them, they appeared to be following someone or something. He waited until they were almost just across from them. His eyes glowed orange as he whispered a spell.

“Andslyht!”

Suddenly a little breeze appeared and blew the leaves over the tracks. He could see the Saxons clearly now, they looked around them. Merlin made the bushes to the right o f them rustle, the noise encouraging the first Saxon to make a decision.

“This way.” he called to his colleague. The two of them went the way of the wind and had soon disappeared from view.

Merlin watched them go with relief, satisfied that they wouldn’t come across them again. 

Behind him he heard Arthur with a resigned tone. “You’ve done this before, all these years Merlin, and you’ve not sort any credit.” 

“That’s not why I do it.” Merlin said staring at his friend desperate for him to understand. There was silence between them, but a contented one despite everything.

Arthur knew he should not be that surprised by anything he saw Merlin do. From the moment of the start of the journey, he had sat and watched his friend’s true worth open up to him like a book. A wonderful one at that. Why had he been so blind to it he wondered to himself. Why had he not seen his friend’s true worth? Yes Merlin had hidden himself well, and understandably so. But surely had he really wanted to see it, he could of surely seen some clues somewhere.

He knew deep down, it was because he had chosen not to see it. It was easier for him to have seen Merlin as his servant. He had taken him for granted, so convinced of his superiority, that he had failed to see the truth. This was a man who needed no weapons, a man who could not fight, but had never let him down. A man who had always been there by his side, no matter what the odds were. He had faced off wtiches, dragons, all types of magical creatures. All for Arthur himself, but he had not seen it, and so missed the very quality of friendship that they possessed. 

He felt a deep emotion as he realised he was only seeing it now. If only Merlin had revealed it all before. At least then he could of told him what his friendship meant to him, but now he felt the clock was ticking on them. He would never get the chance to say what he really wanted to say to him.

 

Suddenly Percival saw Gwaine. He was hunched down his face not visible tied between two bushes. Percival approached him slowly beginning to fear what he may yet find. Gwaine did not look up and indeed made very little movement at all. Percival squated down in front of him. He carefully put his hands on Gwaines’s face and made him look at him.

Gwaines face had despair written over it, a broken spirit all of a sudden Percival wanted to weep.

“She is riding for Avalon.” Gwaine said his voice a mixture of pain and despair.

“Gwaine.” Percival sighed.

“I have failed.” Gwaine replied his face a mass of hoplessness.

“No. You haven’t” Percival assured him desperate to give him some cheer in his last minutes. But he already knew his friends spirit was broken, he gently rested his forehead against Gwaines, and silently mourned the best friend he’d ever known. 

He had stayed by him forehead to forehead for as long as he dared. He knew times was of the essence, he had to warn Merlin and Arthur that Morgana was on the way to them. But first he had buried his friend, taking a few minutes to pay his respects to a fine Knight and an even finer friend. He would make sure that Gwaine’s sacrifice had not been in vain, it was the least he could do.

Sighing he remounted his horse and prepared to track down the witch.


	26. The Pull of Avalon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Arthur getting ever wearier Merlin has to try and drive his friend on, his only hope being he can sense Avalon not too far away. He refuses to think negatively being determined to get this friend their on time.
> 
> A heart-broken Percival continues to track in the hope that he can join Arthur before Morgana gets there. 
> 
> Arthur says what he has wanted to say to an overcome Merlin, causing the warlock to struggle with his own emotions. Unbeknown to Merlin an old adversary is on their trail.

It was evening and the pace Merlin was setting was relentless. He could feel Avalon not far at all, and he was determined to push to the end. Who knew how much strength Arthur may need once he got there. Merlin was sure the sooner it arrived the better it was for both of them.

He looked over his shoulder, the his friend's body was slumped at an alarming angle almost slipping off his horse. Merlin stopped and jumping down went over to him.

"Arthur." he gently straightened him up to be met by a pleading look from the King.

"I can't go on." Arthur said looking utterly exhusted.

"There's not far too go." Merlin assured him. "We need to reach the Lake before dawn." 

Arthur though had made his own mind up his face was determined and set.

"No Merlin, no." he said.

"Okay we rest for an hour." Merlin agreed. 

He helped Arthur from his horse and took him over to a log and sat him down. Seeing the total exhaustion on his friend's face he gave him a drink, wanting to give him as much time as he could. Merlin himself was feeling tired the worry continuing to spread through his over stretched mind. 

He started a fire, being happy to openly use his magic now at such times. He would notice his friend closely observing him whenever he did so. It was as if Arthur suddenly wanted to see his magic beeing used. It gave Merlin a warm fuzzy feeling, as if he was truly beginning to show Arthur his true self. He allowed an image of him and Arthur arriving back to Camelot once he had made everything better. For a brief moment he felt free to dream.

Looking over at Arthur he noticed his friend wanted to speak to him.

"Merlin whatever happens." Arthur began struggling to remain sitting.

"Shhh don't talk." Merlin replied crouching by him, anxious that Arthur should make the most of his rest.

"I'm the King Merlin, you can't tell me what to do." Arthur replied using his hands to empahize his point.

Merlin gave a chuckle. "I always have. I'm not going to change now."

Suddenly Merlin noticed Arthur's face looked set and determined as if he had to say something. He allowed him to speak, his heart in his mouth.

"I don't want you too. I want you...to always...be you. I'm sorry about how I treated you." 

Merlin realised that this was his friend openly acknowleding him and suddenly he felt moved, but decided to hide his feelings behind a joke.

"Does that mean you;re going to give me a day off?" he asked.

"Two." Arthur replied looking straight at Merlin.

"That's generous." Merlin smiled.

Arthur's head suddenly lolled, and worried Merlin gently checked his friends pulse. It was getting ever weaker.

"Get some sleep." Merlin whispered, but Arthur was already alseep and Merlin sat at his side watching him for a few moments.

Merlin's emotions were all over the place now, he was having a constant battle to keep his rationality clear. Arthur's speech to him was the very thing he had longed to hear for so long, but even though it cheered him, he could not be entirely happy because of the circumstances of it. It was a battle against the clock as ever and Merlin was nervous that they were beginning to lose it.

He was miserable and cold and now worried especially as the full moon shone above them. Soon it would be morning and by then they would be in trouble if they hadn't made it to the lake. He kept himself warm by moving around, even now half expecting to see Morgana come out of nowhere. He had a foreboding inside his mind, but he fought to keep his mind clear, as he needed to use it for what lay ahead.

 

Faster and faster she rode, urging the horse on raging as to why she didn't have a spell that would instantly bring her to Avalon and thwart Merlin and Arthur. Her hatred now knew no bounds Arthur had killed Mordred, and that was something she would never forgive him for. Even knowing that Arthur was dying was not enough for her, she wanted to see it for herself. To see and feel his suffeing in the way she too had suffered in seeing Mordred's.

As for Merlin she would have her own plans for him once she caught up with him. He would curse the day he had turned his back on her. She was a High Priestess and she would get her revenge on both of them, then she would take back Camelot and finish off everyone else too.

She kicked her horse again, her thirst for revenge urging her onwards.

 

Merlin looked up at the moon and sensing the first rays of dawn, he realised that they had had enough rest. He ran over to Arthur and shook him, alarmed that he didn't instantly answer him. He shook him again.

"Arthur." he urged, "We've rested long enough." Merlin put his arm around Arthur's shoulder and eased him upwards taking his weight. 

Arthur did his best to move, but he was getting weaker and his movement more cumbersome. Merlin had to grit his teeth more as he persuaded him onto his feet. This would now be the biggest test, he could sense that Arthur was beginning to fade.

 

Percival had been riding now for a few hours following Morgana's tracks. He still had no idea how many more hours it would take him to reach Avalon. He felt hungary and light headed but he knew he must ride on and try and warn Merlin and Arthur. He would not allow himself to think he would be too late. That would mean he would of let down Gwaine, and he had no intention of doing that.

He climbed from his horse searching for the tracks, he realised after a few minutes she was heading east. He remounted and urged his horse on, the first rays of sunlight were beginning to dawn, and he had to think would get there in time.

 

Merlin and Arthur had been riding for a few hours now, daylight was in abundance, not only that but Merlin could feel the pull of Avalon up ahead. He could sense the pulse of magic all around him as he rode on. He allowed himself to be overcome by its intensity, he knew right here would be Arthur's salvation. He could not fail, he would not, he would give Arthur his life back, whatever he had to do. If he had to give his own life for Arthur to live he would gladly do it, and without hesitation. 

He sensed the Lake ahead of him, by the time they'd come through a group of trees he could hear the lapping of the water. He could sense the vibrancy of the place, he could sense his love Freya even, he wondered if she would play apart in it. He quickly gathered his thoughts of such things, he needed to concentrate. Seeing a clearing up ahead he led Arthur to it, before slowly stopping.

He helped Arthur from his horse, sitting him down. Up ahead they could see the Lake, suddenly Merlin felt an intense happiness to share such a place with his best friend. He felt positive they would solve his prediciment, and soon all would be well with their world again.

He gave Arthur a drink, then pointed up ahead at the Isle in the distance.

"Avalon, we'll get there." Merlin promised him.

Suddenly behind them a noise spooked their horses and they fled. Merlin jumped up running after them calling at them, but to no avail they had disappeared. Just as he was getting over his surprise, a voice called behind him.

"Hello Emrys."

Before he could react he was flying backwards through the air.

Morgana watched him go with a satisfied look on her face, and walked towards her brother.


	27. The End of the Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Morgana taunts her brother, as he is forced to sit there unable to defend himself. Merlin though comes to the rescue one last time. Morgana's life is at an end. 
> 
> Then begins a desperate struggle to get a weary Arthur to Avalon without their horses. Arthur gives up and Merlin is forced to face his demons as he questions what his destiny actually was.
> 
> Back in Camelot a new dawn begins as Queen Guinevere is crowned, with Gaius at her side.
> 
> Merlin meanwhile begins a lonely journey as he waits for the day his friend returns to him .

Morgana approached her brother with a look of triumph on her face. Here he was helpless under her gaze, no Emrys to protect him. She glared over at where Emrys still lay she would deal with him later. But now she could gloat over Arthur, as she regarded him, the word pathetic came to her lips. All of a sudden her mighty brother was a shadow of what he once was. She revelled in it, this was justice for everything she had suffered at his and his helper’s hands. 

She noted that Arthur had reached for his sword, before realising he had none, the action only made Morgana gloat even more.

“What a joy it is to see you Arthur. Look at you, not so tall and mighty now. You may have won the battle, but you’ve lost the war. You’re going to die by Mordred’s hand. But don’t worry dear brother, I won’t let you die alone. I will stay and watch over you until the wolves gorge on your carcass and bath in your blood.”

She was so happy in her “triumph” that it was only when she heard the voice, that she even realised Emrys was now standing behind her, sword in his hand.

“No the time for all this blood shed is over. I blame myself for what you’ve become…but this has to end.”

Morgana slowly turned to face him, she saw his face part in shadow, but she straightened her body, her lips turning into a sneer as she regarded him. He would get a shock if he thought he could kill her, she thought to herself.

“I am a High Priestess.” she announced. “No mortal blade can kill me.” The words had no sooner been spoken by her, when suddenly a seering pain hit her like a blow, right in her heart. Her face went into deep shock, as she faced him, stunned by the hard look on his face, as he turned the blade inside her. His next words horrified her.

“This is no mortal blade. Like yours it was forged in a dragon’s breath.” he said.

Morgana hardly had time to react before she knew it she was being lowered to the ground, where she landed with a bump. All she could see was Emrys towering above her, his face showing no remorse. She tried to speak, but the words were unable to come.

“Goodbye Morgana” he said. They were the last words that Morgana Pendragon heard, as her last breath slowly left her.

 

Looking on Arthur hardly knew what he was feeling. So many emotions ran through his heart and mind. Happiness that at long last the threat of Morgana was over. Camelot was no longer at risk, and surely he had to be relieved about that. Yet deep down there was still pain even though he found it impossible to say. She was still his sister, they had still grown up together, yet she had sadly been taken from him. The person who came back was a very different woman. One who had inflicted so much pain on both his family and friends. Despite everything he hoped that Morgana would find some peace at last. 

As he looked at Merlin, he could not read his friends thoughts on what had happened. He knew he would be feeling some pain too, and he had no wish to sadden him further, so he thought of some thing positive to say.

“You’ve brought peace at last.” It was true too. He thought of Guinevere back in Camelot at least she no longer had to worry about Morgana, hopefully it would make her passage that much easier. He knew she would face a tough future, but he knew in his heart he had given the crown to the right person. In his heart of heart he knew he would not see Camelot again, but suddenly he felt more 

 

Merlin’s mind was racing ahead. He didn’t allow him self much time to consider Morgana. In truth he had spent the last few years, mourning the loss of her. Seeing her dishevelled figure as she taunted her brother, Merlin knew he could only do one thing. She was a broken woman, and though he partly blamed himself for her state, he knew he what he had to do. Only by putting her out of her misery, could he end the bloodshed that had ripped Camelot and the Pendragons apart.

He made for Arthur, anxious that they get to the Lake as fast as possible. Now they had no horses it would make the journey harder for them. He eased Arthur on to his feet and slowly urged him forward.

“Arthur come on we have to make it to the Lake.” 

They moved slowly together, Merlin feeling frustration with every step it seemed as if they were going backwards rather than forwards. He kept encouraging Arthur speaking softly to his friend, but he could sense Arthur’s distress and pain. But Merlin refused to accept defeat, he almost pulled Arthur forward through brute strength alone. They had gone across a pebbly path, and were now on the grass, with the Lake ahead of them. Seeing the Lake gave him renowned hope, but just as he was daring to hope again, Arthur fell down on top of Merlin. Not now he thought to himself desperately please god not now.

 

Arthur had never known tiredness like it. It affected everyone of his limbs, as though the slightest movement was squeezing the very heart out of him. As he lay on top of Merlin his breaths flew out of him in sharp bursts. He could hear Merlin again going on about making it too the Lake. Even speaking now took it out of him, it was as if his whole body was starting to close down.

“Merlin not without the horses. We can’t it is too late.”

“No.” Merlin replied, desperation in his voice.

“With all your magic Merlin and you can’t save my life.” Arthur said, almost laughing at the irony of the statement. 

In the last couple of days he had found out much about his friend, not least how much power he possessed in his mere finger tips, and yet even that couldn’t do miracles it appeared. 

“I can.” Merlin argued. “I’m not going to lose you.” 

Arthur could feel Merlin attempting to get him on his feet, but he had had enough now. He could see his end and he was ready for it. But first he had to say something to his struggling friend. Something that should have been said a long time ago in truth.  
“Just, just hold me.” Arthur urged Merlin, patting his hand. “There’s something I want to say.”

“You’re not going to say goodbye.” Merlin whispered.

“No Merlin. Everything you’ve done, I know now. For me, for Camelot. For the Kingdom you helped me build.” Arthur continued, even now fighting until the very end. 

“You’d have done it without me.” Merlin said quietly.

“Maybe…I want to say….something I’ve never said before.” Arthur turned his head towards his friend, wanting him to see him say it. “Thank you.” With an extreme effort Arthur smiled and gently ruffled Merlin’s hair, making sure their eyes connected one last time. For that minute he wanted to memorise every bit of his friend’s feature. He would never see him again, his friend and soul mate. He fought the tiredness that slowly took him over. Before he could stop them his eyes began to close, as a feeling of peace overcame him, and he let himself go.

 

Merlin watched his friend’s eyes begin to close and panic erupted into his very soul. He was losing him, this wasn’t the way it was suppose to end. He began shouting at this friend, his voice sounding loud and strange to him.

“Arthur, no Arthur.”

He grabbed hold of Arthur’s pulse willing it to spring into life, it had stopped his panic began to tumble out of him then. He attempted to move Arthur again, yelling with the effort, but at first he couldn’t move him at all. 

“Arthur!” Suddenly a thought came into his head, why on earth hadn’t he thought of it earlier he wondered in shock. He screamed the words out emotion pouring out with every word, tears dripping down his face. He felt raw with the pain.

“O drakon” E male so ftengometta tesd’hup’anankes!” 

With one last effort he managed to wriggle from underneath Arthur. He lay over him urging his friend to hold on. He searched Arthur’s face for any reaction, but there wasn’t any. In despair he held his face in his hands, resting his forehead on his friends. “Stay with me.”

Suddenly a shadow past over t he pair of them. Looking up he appealed to the dragon.

“Kilgharrah. I would not of summoned you, if there was any other choice. I have one last favour to ask.”

Kilgharrah regarded Merlin, taking pity on his plight and nodded. Somehow Merlin got himself and Arthur up onto the dragon. Before they knew it they were soaring into the sky. Merlin held on to Arthur watching as they approached the Lake. He battled to prepare himself mentally for what would lay ahead.

The dragon stopped just before the Lake. He put his neck gently down onto the ground allowing Merlin to clamber off, gently pulling Arthur with him. He looked around and noticed a boat tied up by some bushes. He put his hands around Arthur’s middle pulling him towards the boat. Suddenly Kilgharrah spoke.  
“Merlin, there is nothing you can do.” the dragon said a sad tone in his voice as he regarded the warlock.

“I’ve failed.” Merlin said, despair in his voice.

“No young warlock, for all that you have dreamed of building, has come to pass.”

“I can’t lose him, he’s my friend.” Merlin yelled at the dragon, even now refusing to give in.

“Though no man, no matter how great, can know his destiny, some lives have been foretold, Merlin. Arthur is not just a King, he is the Once and Future King. Take heart, for when Albion’s need is greatest, Arthur will rise again. It has been a privilege to have known you. Young warlock the story we have been apart of will live long in the minds of men.” 

Taking one last look at Merlin, the dragon turned his head and flew away. Stunned Merlin watched him go until he was out of sight. He gently put Arthur down on the ground, all of a sudden his strength had deserted him. He looked down at his friend as he lay there, all of a sudden struggling to know what to do.

He remembered that he had Excalibur still, and realised that first he needed to safely dispose of it. The words of the dragon still ringing in his stunned ears, he tried to hold on to the thought of Arthur coming back. He walked slowly over to the edge of the Lake, and stood there feeling the sword in his hand, his fingers caressing it for a second. Then he threw it into the Lake, watching the sword going over and over in the sky. Merlin followed its progress as is slowly came downwards, then suddenly a hand came up out of the water.

Merlin took a deep breath as he recognised his Freya’s hand as she caught Excalibur and slowly brought the sword down underneath the water. He stayed there until it had disappeared from view, fresh tears forming in his eyes. For a second he would of given anything to have seen her one more time.

He slowly turned around and prepared to lay his friend to Avalon. He lay him gently onto the boat, and remained looking at him sadly. He crossed Arthur’s arms across his chest, and put his hand on his forehead. He opened his mouth to give him a blessing, but suddenly his courage disappeared, and instead he broke down crying. He let the tears fall for a while, looking behind him in an effort to clear his mind.

Once the tears had stopped he looked over him and raised his fingers.

“Arthur. In sibbe gerest.” 

He watched the boat slowly move across the water, he stayed stock still never taking his eyes off the boat. Fresh tears began to fall down his face, he wondered when the hurt and pain was ever going to stop. How could he ever accept this ending, he wondered. The pain was still raw, yet deep inside of him he knew there was no choice. The boat retreated further and further away from his view, until it finally disappeared and all he could see were bubbles on  
the water. He sighed, sitting down and finally allowing his grief to embrace him fully. 

His friend was gone, and now he was alone.

 

Camelot

The mood in the throne room was one of sadness. Rows and rows of sad faced people stood looking ahead, their faces telling the story of how Camelot continued to mourn the end of its King.

Queen Guinevere sat on her throne alone. She played with the ring in her hand that had been brought to her only days ago by Percival. It was he who had relayed the sad tidings of Arthur’s demise. He had met up with Merlin, Arthur having already been sent to Avalon. Merlin had given the Knight Arthur’s ring to return to the Queen. She had refused to put it down since then.

It felt as if it was the only tangible thing from Arthur now. She lovingly caressed it as it lay in her hands. She knew they were waiting for her to give the signal. Gaius stood on her left with Sir Leon on the right awaiting the instruction, the forwarding of Camelot’s power to Queen Guinevere. She gave herself a second longer, before looking over at Sir Leon and nodding slightly.

“The King is dead.” Sir Leon announced his voice full of sadness.

Gwen looked over at Gaius their eyes meeting as if neither wanted to believe the announcement. 

“Long live the Queen.” Sir Leon called attempting to lift the spirits.

The people of Camelot arose to their new Queen, repeating the call over and over. Queen Guinevere remained sitting looking ahead on her people, knowing that now the Kingdom rested on her own shoulders. She straightened her head and swallowed as the calls echoed around the room. It seemed that she now had the job of taking Camelot into the new world, and she was determined she would do her husband proud.

 

The wind was cold now, the first signs of autumn began to make its attention onto the world. The old man though continued to walk down the lane, he knew every bit of this path way now. He had been walking it for more years than he cared to remember. Every day he would walk down the path, ignoring the lorries and cars that hurtled past at an alarming speed. Every time he was here he would remember, this had been the centre of his life for so long.

His beard was long and white now but inside him he still felt as young as the day he stepped into Camelot all those years ago. So many memories entered his mind, so many faces he remembered and loved. He had years and years of memories by now he was amazed how he could accept what had happened. But for now he could.

He did not know when his friend and King would reappear into his world but he knew one day it would happen. So he continued to walk down the same lane, past the same Lake, seeing the same tower and remembering the same face. One day his life would begin again, and he would at last feel whole.


End file.
